Friday, January 10, 2014

The crazy is coming back.

I'm trying to relax, but I feel the crazy coming back. Maybe it's the winter. Maybe it's that I left my SAD lamp in Scotland. Most likely, it's that I'm creatively constipated.

Sounds gross, right?

Well, I've got all kinds of things I want -- need -- to do, artistically, but I am just unable to make them happen at the moment because of the age-old issue of being primary caregiver to my little one (and being unable to afford daycare at the moment). Pregnancy put a big ol' halt to my career trajectory, like it does for so many women, and it frustrates me to no end.

Of course, I'm totally happy that I get to spend so much time with the wee boy. I really do try to enjoy every single minute with him. I just put him down for a nap, and he fell asleep in my arms so sweetly that I almost didn't want to put him down.

But ... I need to do more.

Hence, the crazy is coming back.

I wrote this lyric about someone else once:
I used to make plans, now all I make are lists
And vegetable soup and two or three kids
This morning as I've made four separate lists, only one of which had anything to do with my career, and that lyric is hitting far too close to home.

I'll get over it, I'm sure. Believe me, I know that I'm not the only woman to suffer the career/family issue.

I just really had hoped someone would have solved it by the time I became a family woman. 

If you need a melancholy track for a cloudy day, have a listen here:

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful song Brigid! And you're not going crazy! We all have our dry spells, life commitments and the like that keeps us from working full time on our creative endeavors (unless you are a super star, in which case you do not have a life except that). Sometimes I think it is a blessing that keeps us from getting burned out. I'm sure your son will settle down some after he gets past the "terrible two" stage, and you will have more time to spend writing and singing. :) Just hang on until then.