Best Throat Spray Ever and a Wacky Bahamas Story.

After I got home from the Bahamas two weeks ago, I dropped in to visit an old friend I rarely see anymore. She asked about the trip, and I told her a story I will share with you today. As I got to the crazy serendipitous part, she rolled her eyes and said, "Of course, Brigid, that stuff ALWAYS happens to you." To her, I've always been her Crazy Friend Brigid, a moniker that, admittedly, used to bother me. But I'm older and wiser now, and so I will simply smile with the knowledge that wacky and wonderful things do indeed happen to me ... and share that story with you now.

I won't bore you with details, but let's just say that the day of the show in Freeport, my voice was not its usual self. My range had dropped significantly, and I was having to lower the keys of my own songs, struggling just to make it through the night. I absolutely despise when performers make excuses for themselves from stage, however, even if it's a legitimate illness. I prefer to just smile, and put on my game face, and give the folks a show.

So I'm up there singing, surprising myself at how easy and fast I can yodel when I've got a sore throat, and struggling through it with a smile. It worked out okay. The only people who noticed my throat injury were the few who tried to talk to me before the gig, as I'd mentioned my voice problem to them and that I wasn't speaking until after the show.

Then this woman comes up to me and requests a song. I'd noticed her throughout the gig, as she was listening intently and looked like she was having a blast. She also was just the type of woman who demands the room's attention, as if she might have been Queen of the Island. I speak softly and directly into her ear because you wouldn't believe how much effort it takes to speak loudly over crowd noise. Then she looks at me and says, "Your throat's hurting you isn't it?"

I nod and explain to her that I'd been drinking water all day, lozenges, etc, but my voice still wasn't cooperating.

That's when she introduces herself as Karen Clarke, the President/Owner of Thayers (est. 1847, but she's not that old). What's Thayers, you may ask? Only my absolute favorite brand of herbal throat sprays. It's one of the few products out there that doesn't contain alcohol or a numbing ingredient, both of which can actually hurt your voice and convince you to sing over the pain. It also tastes sweet and yummy, and because its herbal, you can spray it all day long to moisturize your vocal cords. I had one bottle left in my cabinet at home, but hadn't brought it with me to the gig.

Karen took my hand, told me about some other products they had, and promised to send me a box of Thayers goodies that were awaiting me upon my arrival home.

How freakin' crazy is it that the random night I'm playing in Freeport, Grand Bahama, I've lost my voice, and the OWNER of the best throat spray company in the world just so happens to be AT MY GIG and comes to talk to me???? (That's the point in the story where you roll your eyes and say, "Of course, Brigid, that stuff ALWAYS happens to you.")

So there's the full disclosure -- Thayers sent me a box of their goodies. But I've got to tell you, I was a user of the Dry Mouth Spray before, and I'm remaining loyal. The Slippery Elm Lozenges, however, were new to me. You suck on two of them about 20 minutes before showtime, and I must admit, they got me through a gig in January that I was extremely worried about.

Anyway: singers in Louisville, they sell the Dry Mouth Spray at Rainbow Blossom, Amazing Grace, and Whole Foods, or you can order them from www.thayers.com. Honestly, though, Thayers is such a good company that they actually prefer you to patronize your local stores. Just please let me know if you take the last bottle.... last I checked, the Rainbow Blossom by my house only had one left. Actually, if anyone out there works at Rainbow Blossom or Amazing Grace, maybe you could just order a case of that spray for me? :) Love, your Crazy Friend Brigid

The Last Waltz Louisville.

It's been two years since the Lexington-based band Tula last staged their own version of The Band's farewell film The Last Waltz in Louisville, and it's high time they brought it back. The Louisville music scene has its factions, but things like the Townes Van Zandt Tribute and Tula's The Last Waltz are beautiful reminders that all of us musicians

Saturday at Headliner's, Tula will act as The Band, welcoming an array of Louisville singer-songwriters, rock musicians, folks-you-didn't-know-ever-performed (music critics! attorneys!), and even a Louisville ex-pat, to the stage as they re-enact Scorsese's 1978 classic documentary film. The film/concert included guest musicians such as Eric Clapton, Neil Diamond, Bob Dylan, Emmylou Harris, Ronnie Hawkins, Dr. John, Joni Mitchell, Van Morrison, Ringo Starr, Muddy Waters, Ronnie Wood, and Neil Young, all stepping up to sing with The Band.

I'm making a reprise as Joni Mitchell, so over the next two days I'll be trying to remember how she tuned that freakin' guitar of hers and trying to remember all the verses of the surprisingly rockin' tune "Coyote."

That'll be a blast, but I'm even more looking forward to hearing the other performers. In December of 2007, I remember being rocked beyond belief by John Mann's killer performance of "Caravan," and I'm hoping that's what he's planning on doing again.

Other performers include: Peter Searcy; Sean Hopkins of Dallas Alice; John Mann of Tim Krekel Orchestra fame; Sarah Teeple of the Ladybirds; Greg Foresman of Martina McBride's band; Rodney Hatfield and Nick Stump of the Metropolitan Blues Allstars; Jimmy Gardner of Hellfish; Dave Nofsinger and Dave Porter of Satchel's Pawnshop; Eric Whorton and Andy Brown of El Roostars; Dewey Kincaid of the Navigators; Brigid Kaelin; John Valentine; Mick Sullivan of Fire the Saddle and Squeezebot; Joe Burchett of Fire the Saddle and the Mandelbrots; Maiden Radio's Joan Shelly, Joe Manning, Cory Wilson of Lexington's Coralee and the Townies; Gabe Hensley of the Other Brothers, Peter Searcy, and even one ... Jeffrey Lee Puckett. Jeffrey Lee did a kick-a$$ version of "The Weight" with Tim Krekel at the last performance. I can't wait to hear what he's singing this time.

Saturday, Feb 6
Headliner's Music Hall
9:00 / $10


And after Headliner's, why not bring your dancing shoes over to Seidenfaden's after the show and scoot your boots to some Johnny Berry music? Steve Cooley's guitar riffs alone are worth the $5 cover.

Bad novels and the Masons.

I've been taking it easy for a while. It started with my vocal cord injury, which led to a couple days of migraine and intense lower back pain, both of which are surely stress-induced because I'm mildly freaking out about my vocal cord injury. I know it will be fine, and I'm on my best boring behavior. No drinking, no spicy food, a few muscle relaxers, and as little talking as possible.

What do I do then? I've eaten lots of noodles-with-butter, and I've read quite a bit.

The last two days I read Dan Brown's latest novel, The Lost Symbol. I'm not going to lie and tell you I didn't enjoy The Da Vinci Code. I did, and I also like Harry Potter, The Great Gatsby, and apple pie. Da Vinci was a fun read with good puzzles, Paris, and ancient castles.

The Lost Symbol, however, was just, well, not good. It started out okay. I mean, it started out pretty much like The Da Vinci Code, but that's okay. Sticking with a formula isn't always bad. But I figured out the secret on, like, page 10, and kept repeating, "If I'm right about this, I'm going to be sooooo mad." It took until page 500-something, but there it was: the building I'd guessed on page 10. I skimmed about 50 pages of biblical talk out of pure boredom, just because I was too far in to put the book down. I don't think it would have been as bad if it had been a 300 pages novel. Just kill the fluff, dude, we GET it!

I'll tell you what it DID do, however: It has made me obsessed with the Masons. I think I remember that my grandfather was a Mason. If not him, then his father was. I vaguely remember him talking about it once, back in my pre-Dan-Brown days. Do you think he wore secret robes? To what degree did he rise? Am I entitled to anything, even though I'm a girl? My other grandpa was a veteran, so I can join the American Legion if I want. But they don't do much except have cheap beer and bingo. I'd rather be privy to secret rituals. Am I even allowed to say that he was affiliated with the Masons?

Are any of my blog readers Masons? Can you invite me to some event? I promise not to blog about it. There's just this super-cool building in downtown Louisville that has always intrigued me with it's Greek columns and statues. What goes on there? Exciting action or rituals? Or is it just old rich men playing bingo? Am I going to be kidnapped or put on some list now that I've blogged about the Masons? Watch out for me, folks. If I disappear too long ... check with the Masons.

Blog Rerun: My Rider

I've spent the morning working on a contract and trying to include my bandmates' needs on the rider. I giggle every time I get a gig that involves a rider because my mind drifts back to the stories of green M&Ms and masseuses. Before you start slamming that old story of Van Halen's rider, however, you should know that the M&M request was included to make sure that the venue had actually READ the entire technical rider. Riders include things like electrical outlets, amps, pyrotechnic fire safety regulations, and catering too. So if the band shows up and doesn't find green M&Ms in the green room, they know that most of the important stuff (like safety precautions or decent amps) on the rider was probably overlooked as well.

Anyway, sorry I've been busy with business stuff ... it reminded me of an old blog. So here's a re-run from December 2007:

If I'm going to put on a good, entertaining show, I need to be in a good mood. And i need my band to be in a good mood too. And what puts people in a good mood?

Brigid Kaelin's Backstage Rider:

1) a bottle of Maker's Mark (wax SEALED!)
2) assorted mixers
3) Crown Royal (for the Canadians among us)
4) good dark chocolate
5) chips-n-salsa
6) a Box of Puppies.

Yes, a Box of Puppies. Imagine the scene .. you've driven all day in a big van. Stopped at Wendy's because it's the only place you could agree on. You're not sure what state you're in because all the Best Buy/Starbucks/Target shopping centers are all the same. You're really annoyed with your drummer because when he drives he won't stop tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. And you get to the green room, and what awaits you? A BOX OF PUPPIES!
Magic! Everyone is happy. You get to hold a few wiggly little puppies with their needle teeth and tiny tongues climbing up your legs, and displaying their little puppy bellies for the band members. Suddenly you forgot that it's been 12 nights since you slept in a real bed and you're not speaking to the bass player.

You may be asking yourself -- well, that's rude, what happens to the puppies? That's the beauty of it -- the puppies are adopted to audience members after the show. We get the Humane Society or whatever to bring in a box of puppies, and then the new owners have this great story about how they got their dog at a Brigid Kaelin show.

So that's my rider.

Bourbon and a box of puppies.

Catholic Schoolgirls Gone Wild.

I used to teach music at a Catholic high school. Because of the wonders of social media, and my now very public music career, I am friends with some of my former students on Facebook. Yesterday, I got a message from one of them wondering if I wanted to host a "True Romance" party. Here is an excerpt:

They are great fun and very educational, you can also buy some really steamy toys to help take control in your bedroom. If you host a party you get 10% off every $100 spent by your friends, and a free gift! If your friends spend over $675 your free gift will be a silver bullet.

Maybe I should forward it to all of her other former Catholic high school teachers, and we can all get together and have a big party. Did she send this to me as a joke? Or did she copy and paste all her friends, then immediately regret accidentally including her former teacher in this list? Or is she still giggling at her intentional audacity?

I thought about ignoring it completely. Then I considered sending a smart-ass reply asking if she'd like me to also invite Ms. Murphy, Ms. Brown, and Ms. Berry to her little soiree. Then I decided instead to just write a blog about it and keep her anonymous.

Ladies, if you are going to host a "True Romance" party, -- which I'm sure are great fun and highly educational -- you probably shouldn't invite your former teachers. That's just weird.

Feeling down.

I'm feeling down. I don't feel like reading. And I can't write because I can't sing. I strained my vocal cords somehow, so I am not speaking/singing until gig-time. All I feel like doing is whining. When will it be summer? Or at least when will it be Derby? Or at the VERY least, when will it be time to plant my garden?
Hmpf. Maybe I shouldn't have read The Bell Jar while on vacation last weekend. I think I need a good trashy chick-lit novel. Repeat: Hmpf.

Burns, Haggises, Celebrations.

I missed Burns Night. I remembered while I was on the plane Monday that it was both my half-birthday AND Burns Night. Then I landed and we went out to dinner, forgetting all our original plans of making a vegetarian haggis and hiring a bagpiper. We'd even bought a rutabaga for the occasion, but now it just sits lonely in the fridge, awaiting a future mashing.

In happier (and related) news, I've finally got a confirmed date in Edinburgh. It's only one day, however, so I will need to order as many jacket potatoes and as many vegan haggises (proper plural is NOT "haggi," as many sources contend, although I admit that is more fun to say) as possible in a 24 hour period.

And before you knock the idea of a vegan haggis, I challenge you to Google and cook ANY vegan haggis recipe and stand it up to an actual haggis. It is infinitely better only because you KNOW you're not eating anything to do with stomach lining, but you've got the same spices. Plus, you still feel sort of _So I Married an Axe Murderer_, which is fun.

Anyway, I'm bummed that I missed Burns Night. Maybe I'll start a new tradition and celebrate Half-Burns Night on July 25. Hmmmmm ... we're gonna need a bagpiper....