The day after I got home from my wild night in Amsterdam, I went swimsuit shopping. You see, it's summer in Kentucky, which is much different than summer in Scotland. Summer in Kentucky means 100% humidity and 100 degree weather (that's about 38*C). Swimming is not just a pasttime; it is a necessity.
Also a necessity for me this summer was what I like to call a "fashion suit." For a particular summer event I'm attending, I may or may not be wearing a strapless dress. (Sorry, Princess Kate, though I appreciate your bringing back sleeves, I just can't handle them in a Kentucky summer.) I'm not a spray tan kind of girl, for many reasons, but also because my tan comes in spotted. You just can't duplicate freckle density in a salon. So vanity won over me, and I decided I needed a strapless swimsuit.
Confession: I've never really had a fashion suit. I was a swim rat from a wee age (sorry for the "wees" ... Scotland got to me), beginning with early morning swim practice, then staying at the pool all day long, leaving only to make a sandwich or get quarters for nachos. When I was very small, I had a Big Bird swimsuit and a yellow bikini, but I'm pretty sure that from the time I was five years old on, all I ever owned were Speedos.
Even today I always buy my suits from the Speedo clearance website, where you just input your size and buy whatever suit comes in your size. Colors and patterns just don't matter to me when it comes to swimsuits. It's all about function. Diving boards and bikinis don't mix, and I need to be able to get my flip on.
FWT was a great shopping partner, as he is much more patient than I am. I generally hate any kind of shopping. On the bright side, years of avoiding fashion suits has made the shopping less dreadful than I always read it was in the "Cathy" cartoons. I still don't care about colors or patterns, though I'm pretty sure all that was left by the time we went shopping, were varieties of "old lady suits." In fact, we had a good laugh when FWT picked out several proper "old lady suits" for me to try on, just for one.
I ended up with the one that FWT told me to get because I thought they all looked stupid and un-diving-board worthy. But really, I'm doing this all for him. I mean, surely he doesn't want to look at strap lines on his wedding day, right?