I got so many lovely responses yesterday, both public comments and private messages. Thank you all for your wisdom and kind words. It seems that from the beginning of all this, the single-most common (and best) piece of advice we've gotten is: do what you want, and don't worry about anyone else.
That should seem obvious to us, right? Well, it's so much easier said than done, and it's been something we've had to try really hard to remember. Aside from the big problem that I have a terrible habit of wanting everyone to be happy, I really really don't want to anger people. And people have extreme opinions about weddings.
We've already annoyed many folks by having a smaller wedding, with only family and close friends we see on a regular basis. That was purely the fault of our minuscule budget -- a budget that would make most wedding planners scoff. We're already over that wee budget, even with the limited guests. Most people seem to understand (at least to our faces). Still, when we win Powerball next week, we'll be quadrupling the guest list and the bourbon selection.
Other choices we've made will probably surprise a few guests, but again: that doesn't matter, right? We are doing our best to keep things as Green as possible, and end the evening with as little waste as possible.
Truly, though, I'm not worried about it anymore. I tried to spell everyone's names correctly on the invitations, and it'll be an open bar. Those are two things that matter to me.
Still, while I know it's right that what other people think doesn't matter, I don't want people to think we hate their small children. We just don't want them at our cocktail party, that's all. It's our wedding, right? Trying to remember that. Trying to remember that. Trying to remember that...