Had to edit this photo bc someone  flagged it as pornography even though 75% of my post-mastectomy-breasts were covered by at white rectangle. GRRR.

Let me begin with the obvious: you don't need any of this. But just like when you have a baby, you'll find that during mastectomy recovery, while you don't need most of "the stuff," some of that "stuff" actually improves your quality of life.

Jump straight to my Amazon storefront to see these items.

I've compiled a list of things I genuinely enjoyed having during my post-mastectomy weeks (I'm three-weeks out as I'm writing this). There will be a Round Two someday because I was also gifted some pretty amazing things from friends. Check back for the Mastectomy Gift Guide when I have the energy to write again.

I hope this list is helpful. Maybe you click all the links and buy all the stuff. Maybe you just read through and find that having knowledge of what to expect helps you feel a little more in control of your current situation. Most importantly, mastectomies are major surgeries. Allow yourself time to heal. Be kind to yourself. Splurge if you can. Life is short (don't we all know that by now)...

1. Mastectomy Pillow

I wish I'd remembered to bring this to the hospital with me. It would have been nice for the ride home, so my seatbelt wasn't so miserable. This pillow has notches cut out for your arms, which gives support and a great cushion to your chest. You won't be able to hug anyone properly for a while. Having a cushion helps hugs feel better, but also it's nice to just hug the pillow. This particular one has a great pocket in front to hold your phone or a pencil or airpods or whatnot.

$25 on Amazon.

These are Amazon links. I'm part of an affiliate program. Clicking on the links helps me. Thanks!

2. Button-up pajamas.
Buy a few pairs of these, and wear one of them to your surgery, especially if your surgery is outpatient. You will not be able to raise your arms above your head for at least several weeks, so button-up pajamas (and eventually shirts) will be your best friend. Splurge on something soft. You've got cancer (or BRCA+) and it SUCKS and you deserve soft pajamas.
 

     

What are you reading?! Ever since my surgery, I've been completely unable to focus on anything. I already have #neurodiversesquad issues, but I've learned how to manipulate my mind when I need to. Since that anesthesia, however, my brain fog is just IMMENSE. I have been trying to get through a light, Scottish rom-com, beach read, and I just cannot. I'd love nothing more to be lost in a novel right now, though, so I'm going to list some good reads and hope that inspires me to focus a little more. I'd love to hear what you're reading and will happily take recommendations.

(Also: jump over to Patreon.com/brigidkaelin if you are a patron, and watch an exclusive video project that I'm REALLY proud of. It's an orchestral arrangement. I contain multitudes, like the ability to score songs in 30-part harmony. And if you're not a Patron, would you please please join so I can make art without constantly having to SELL it?!?)

Oooooh, I'm BURSTING with blog posts to share now that I unclogged the writing pipe a little. First let's focus on a BIG CHANGE in my life that was overshadowed by significantly more important things: I turned 40!

Most of my friends have been 40 for a while, so this isn't, like, a huge surprise or feeling. I think I've been accidentally telling people I'm 40 for years now. But it's official, and the day went by without much excitement. My husband flew into town at 5:30pm on my actual birthday, and our family went to Sapporo for hibachi dinner. That felt festive, even though wee Angus was terrified of the onion volcano and clung to me for dear life when the flames shot to the range hood.

The fun-for-the-blog part!

Because I wasn't having a party or anything, my husband conspired with my dear friend Tyra to give me some sort of extravagant birthday day -- a time out from stress and a day of relaxation. He arranged 24 hours of childcare, and Tyra kidnapped me at 10am the day before my birthday. I knew to pack an overnight bag, but that my passport was not required (I had to ask because you never know with Tyra!). I said goodbye to the kids and ran to Tyra's car, not really caring if my 24-hour escape meant a sleeping bag at her house. She gave me this beautiful card, which hinted at Paris, but I had definitely not brought my passport. Minor panic, but then the inside said, "I wish I could fly you to Paris,"  etc etc etc.

Again, I didn't care, but we did hit I-64 east and got out somewhere in Lexington where we had brunch reservations at Shakespeare & Co, a Dubai-based chain that was like a Parisian cafe, but with much more space (no sharing tables with your neighbors!) and less dust. The menu was expansive and delightful, offering crepes, breakfast and lunches too. We had Bellinis and relaxed.
 

Then we headed for a fantastic MASSAGE!! No photos because I was naked.

But the biggest surprise of all ... which I sort of suspected once I was in on the Parisian theme was when we drove off to Versailles (that's pronounced Ver-SAYLES in Kentucky, y'all -- seriously. I mean it's not surprising considering we pronounce the "S" in Paris even though it's supposed to be Par-EE, but I digress) and pulled into THE KENTUCKY CASTLE!!

If you're not from around these parts, you likely don't know what I'm talking about. During child road trips to Lexington, my family would drive on Versailles Road and on top of a small hill sat this strange and abandoned castle. It was the first castle I ever saw, and you know how I love castles. The story was that a husband built it for his wife after a trip to Germany, but before it was finished, the couple divorced. This was sometime in the 1970s, and I guess it sat empty for years. More on the Wiki page here.

Well, it turns out that the castle has been renovated and is now an operating 5-star-hotel called The Kentucky Castle, and Tyra had booked a room for us for the night, along with a reservation at the Murder Mystery dinner show that was happening at the Castle. She also hadn't booked just any room -- but literally the best room in the hotel, one of the corner turrets that is its own little villa.

The room was great. It had two stories and two Juliet balconies, a little kitchenette and great views. The garden was delightful, and there was a small pool. We tried to sit in the garden and drink wine, but the bar and kitchen and restaurant were closed because of some power outage issues they'd had the weekend before.

I'm not sure why no one had been to the grocery since the power returned, but they seemed mystified when we asked if we could have a glass of wine. "Yeah, there's a Kroger about 3 miles down the road. Annoyed, but not to be deterred, we drove to Kroger, bought cheese, crackers, wine, and margarita fixins for the Murder Mystery (we were warned the bar would be closed), returned to our villa and relaxed and relaxed and talked about everything from taxes to baby toes. It was a delightful distraction, I slept great, and only the sun woke me.

KENTUCKY CASTLE PHOTOS!

Photo has NOTHING to do with the blog, but look how cute my boys are.

You guys, I'm the queen of packing, and I'm starting to get verrrrrrrry excited about packing for my upcoming tour. I don't like to check a bag, and I also like to make sure I bring an accordion and plenty of CDs. That doesn't leave much room for clothes, and this is a winter tour, requiring more than a couple of layers. But I once packed for myself and a toddler for a month in Europe with just one carry-on, so I've got this, people. I've got it.

Part of my excitement is that I got that awesome Baubax bomber jacket that has, like, 15 pockets for various devices, which eliminates the need for a carry-on on a flight. I'm pretty excited to model it for you all because it's, like, this jacket that I invented in my head ages ago on some RyanAir flight where I had to buy a seat for my accordion because it was cheaper than paying for it as a carry-on , but I didn't have to put in any effort to make it happen. Instead someone else is getting rich, but at least I get my Inspector Gadget jacket.

I was 22 the first time I had a proper meal. It was Paris. A lunch. It was a friend of my parents, who had taken us all out to lunch at a classic brasserie -- red awning, sparkling wine, tables too close to your dining neighbors, and only one vegetarian item on the menu: a plate of green beans drowned in a stick of butter. It was the most delicious meal I'd ever had, and entirely because of the company, the atmosphere, the wine, and the fact that it took three hours.

Since then, my ultimate #treatyoself or vacation goal has been: a long and delicious dining experience, coursed out over a couple of hours.

It's a rare experience for me and David, however, because we are vegetarians. When we travel, we seek out the nice restaurants that offer a vegetarian tasting menu -- not just one with a chef willing to tolerate or "create something" for us. Not having to make a special request is everything, and I relish the chefs who recognize that most food, actually, is not made of animals. 

Some of my favorite meals of yore:

New Orleans. Restaurant August. Edinburgh, Scotland. The Kitchin.New York City. Cafe Boulud.Edinburgh, Scotland. David Bann. 

I was just lost in a fantasy remembering other delicious meals (Yellow Bar in Florence, Italy. That conveyor belt sushi place we found in Paris. A breakfast sandwich from Pick a Bagel in Manhattan.), but today my focus is VEGETARIAN TASTING MENUS.

Today I am excited because a LOUISVILLE restaurant (The Fat Lamb) is smart enough to offer up an entire Vegetarian Tasting Menu event this month, and I CANNOT WAIT. 

The Fat Lamb is already my favorite new restaurant in this town, and this acknowledgment that vegetarians, too, might like a swanky night out, well, it just cements that honor. 

August 20, with two seatings: 5:30 and 7:30.
Wine pairings optional.
Menu available here.
Facebook event here.

I'll be at the 5:30 seating because I have babies, so I can't be eating at 7:30 like a normal person. 

Here are some photos from when David and I created our own vegetarian tasting menu experience back in January. I meant to blog about it then, but I meant to do a lot of things last winter. 

I just LOVE a good rock and roll show, especially a band that knows how to integrate a real piano player. That Steve Nieve is magical, and I got a verrrrrrrrrrrry close-up seat to watch him play last night in Kettering, Ohio, at the Fraze Pavilion. It was such a good night -- well worth the awful traffic in Cincinnati.

I try to be cool about this and not go on about it, especially because I value Elvis Costello as an artist and mentor -- particularly his wisdom when it comes to balancing musician-life with motherhood. He was the first person to tell me (aside from my husband) there was absolutely nothing wrong with hiring a babysitter just so I could play the piano -- that even though at that moment it meant the babysitter earns more than I do, that it feeds my creative soul, which is more valuable than any career I'd have.

We caught up on his tour bus yesterday for about 45 minutes. He'd graciously left backstage passes for me and my guitarist/bassist/friend Dennis and his lovely wife Nancy after I let him know that we had tickets to the show. He made me a cup of tea -- I still can't believe I accepted because he was at work and had a show to do, but he offered multiple times and a cuppa did sound relaxing. We talked about our mums, our kids, our travels. He gave me an LP, signed it "Congratulations" after I told him that I had another baby since I last saw him -- and he spelled my name correctly without even having to ask. Why isn't everyone in the music business so genuine?

Also, I gave him my new record (and signed it, ha!), and I told him that track 4 "The Jester" was inspired by Steve Nieve, which then made me really nervous and I am hoping that Steve likes the song even just a little. It's been a while since I wrote it, so I'm not sure how it comes across -- but it's meant in love and is about meeting my keyboard hero.

So if you're reading this, Steve, please let me buy you a glass of wine in Paris someday. Also, I loved that shirt you wore and your shoe game is on-point. But you already know that.

Please come to my Headliners  CD Release party!! Friday, July 28. Doors at 7. Opener at 8. I play at 9 or 9:15. Full band. $10. Email me if you want to venmo/paypal/square me money to pre-order your tickets and maybe can even save you a seat. We are planning on having lots more chairs than usual, so don't let your old idea of the venue scare you away -- i like to sit at Headliners, myself :) If you can't come, could you please share the event??? I'm starting to freak out and have those nightmares that the room will be empty. Eek.