Wednesday, February 11, 2015

On leaving the Wee Boy for 2 weeks ... and we're still nursing.

I'm going to Scotland in two weeks! Yes, I am freaking out at the thought of leaving the Wee Boy behind. He understands that "Mommy has to work," but he also incredibly emotional. He's not a crier, but he emotes. Oh, how he emotes. He'll get this thing I call "square-jaw" where he is trying to stop his lower lip from quivering, so he goes kind of rigid. Then his eyes get huge and a single tear rolls out of each eye as he says, "I'm going to be brave. But I feel sad. I'm going to miss you, Mommy. I will cry when you're gone because I will miss you so much." And seeing as I just lost it while typing that reenactment, I always lose it when he tells me this. I cannot hug him hard enough or kiss that space between his cheek and his neck enough times. 

He's going to be fine. I know that. But I don't like him to be sad, and he feels so so so deeply. He is such a sweet boy.

He's also still nursing -- albeit just 1-2x a day -- so this will be a huge change for him for me to be gone. When I was gone for 5 days in October for a wedding in the Bahamas, I wasn't sure if he'd still want to nurse when I returned. It was pretty much the first thing he asked for. Despite the fact that I'd only hand-expressed very briefly and only twice during my whole trip, he declared, "There's still milk in there. Chocolate milk. Yum!" I'm sure my supply took a hit while I was at the beach, but apparently not enough to bother him.

This time I'll be gone two weeks, and I'm not sure I'll bother to express at all. For one thing, it's awkward and it hurts my hand (and no way am I going to bring a pump with me). Also, I don't get engorged anymore -- I mean he's almost 2.5. I'm trying to prepare myself mentally for him forgetting about "nursies" while I'm gone, just in case this is, in fact, the end of our nursing adventure. (Knowing him, however, I have a feeling he's going to be all over me when I return.) I've had a don't-offer-don't-refuse-policy (except between 9p-7a, which I nixed last summer in an unsuccessful attempt to get this beast to sleep through the night). 

Anyone out there ever left your happily-nursing 2.5 year old for a couple of weeks? What happened? 

Anyway, because of the massive guilt I feel in leaving this boy, I've promised to bring him 14 presents -- one for every day I'm gone. Yes, I know. I shall spoil him. But I don't care. He's so innocent and sweet right now, and all I want to do is make sure I never see square-jaw-quiver-lip again. 

1 comment:

  1. I nursed Oscar until he was slightly over three and said "yuck, I don't like it!" and wiped his mouth. That was it. Just like when you left for five days, if he still wants it he will surely let you know!