Monday, December 29, 2014

Sigh. Motherhood, having it all, and not making it onto the show ad.

I took a little break from the ol' blog last week, as you may have noticed. Mostly, I was trapped in a car driving through Oklahoma and Texas, neither of which has any business being so LONG. I mean, if the Carolinas had the decency to break up, then Texas of all states should be kind and divide itself already. But anyway ...

I'm playing a show in January - a full band show at the New Vintage in Louisville. Alex Wright, savior of my  sanity (when it comes to music business, anyway) asked me to join the bill and, knowing that I prefer the early time slot, asked if I wanted to play first. YES, I do! Then the New Vintage created this Facebook event, which is awesome because every event requires a Facebook presence, but they didn't include me on the nice graphic that says who is playing -- perhaps because I'm maybe considered "just the opener," perhaps because they just forgot, or the graphic had too much text already ... or maybe because of all the other reasons I fear.

The fab poster made my the promoter ...
I made the cut on this one! :)
At first I wasn't bothered by that at all, and Alex was awesome enough to immediately add my name to the Event name and apologize, even though he didn't make the even or the graphic.

The more I think about it, as with anything, I'm growing bothered by it. Not bothered at anyone in particular, but just sort of shocked that -- well, I knew that having a child was bad for my career, but has it been so bad that I don't even register on the radar as someone who might draw a crowd anymore??? I mean, I've sold, like, four thousand records, and been on A Prairie Home Companion, and played with Elvis Costello three times, and used to be a l'il darling of WFPK (I know, I know, "used to be") ... and, well, it appears that the last few years of pregnancy and raising a kiddo has, yup, hurt my career.

Not surprising. Not shocking. Not bitter -- just contemplative and sad. Women, by now, know that we cannot actually "have it all," etc etc. And I'm not complaining about not being the star that I once was. I guess I'm just kind of sad about having this proof of what I suspected all along.

I was talking to Steve Cooley just yesterday about how I need a new record. Not for my career (although that is obviously true considering the impetus for the this blog), but for my soul. I need a product. I need something physical -- some evidence that the last ten years of my life, my heart and soul, my efforts as an artist, have not been, well, for naught. Any kind of small business owner/ artist (for they are the same thing) knows that you must stay in the spotlight to keep your business alive. But as an artist, I need something out there, whether it's in the spotlight or not, to justify what I've done with my life.

I know, rather than blogging my heart out so you remember my name, I should be in the studio recording. But do you know how difficult it is to get musicians in one place at the same time ... at the same time that there is someone available to set up a mic and push record ... at the same time that there is someone available to watch my kid? Believe me, I've been trying for years. Guys in my band ... are you reading this? Do you have any time this week? Can we just go for it?

Here's a video from last January's show at the New Vintage with my full band. Check out +Dan Canon on the back up vocals and guitar.

1 comment:

  1. I've asked some of my Second Life friends from the Glasgow area to see if they can help. Specifically Caasi Ansar (her Second life name). I hire her for my virtual pub every Friday evening.

    I'll let you know if I hear anything.