Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Evangelical runners.

Current mood: argumentative
Category: Religion and Philosophy

I was going to wait until Week-in-Review on Sunday to address all these private messages I've been getting about the joys of running. There were far too many, however, which made me develop this theory.

Enthusiastic Running Friends are like Evangelical Christians. (Or like those drug dealers who followed me in Washington Square Park when I was in college.) Come on, try it, you'll love it!

Friend-with-a-Smart-Car and I were talking about this over lunch yesterday. Runners are just like Born Agains* who feel really sorry for you because you just haven't accepted Jesus in your heart, but if you'll just try, then you, too, will feel the "joys and benefits" of the Lord. (Allison! Direct quote from your comment! You're charming as can be, but not even you can make running fun for surly ol' me.)

Nothing against SeƱor Christ here. He was a fine fellow. But the folks who repeatedly tell you, "You don't know what you're missing. Please just come to church with me once, and I promise you'll see," well, they sound just like you wacky runners who keep messaging me suggesting I join your running club!

So at the risk of offending my faithful (hee hee) readers who took the time out to message me about how I should really give running a try, and how my whole life will change, please ... Stop the Evangelical Running. (Do I smell a bumper sticker coming on?!?)

Some people just aren't meant to pound their joints on the earth. I am one of those people. I swam 500 yesterday, and I could have done more. I stopped just as I reached my goal, however. Don't aim too high.

I think the chances of my becoming a runner are just about as likely as my becoming Born Again. Of course, Bob Dylan went through that phase. Maybe you should watch out for my lyrics over the next several years. If you notice that I slim down considerably and start singing about salvation, then I may have joined your running club and your church.

And as for church, well, I'm going to a church Mardi Gras party tonight. Whoo hoo!!!

*have you ever seen Bjorn Again? the ABBA tribute show? amazing

Read more: http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=19356498&blogId=472795025#ixzz0tgzb039I

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