Greetings from Ohio! I've been working on the admin side of my own career, rather than gigging and live-streaming, because I've got something else going on: Graham's shooting a movie. 

I'm not allowed to talk about the film itself (though I can say that his IMDb page is up to date, so you can do your own research), but I thought today I'd write something for other parents in the film industry. And also for anyone just interested in what life is like on a film set.

Follow Graham!

I've spent my whole life unwittingly gearing up for my newest profession: stage mom.

It's pretty wild, considering my wish-upon-a-star for when my child was born was Business School, child, Business School. Of course, my brilliant baby, who could be anything, has fallen head over heels for acting. And I'm here for the ride, supporting when I can, but sitting back and watching the show most of the time.

Brainsplosion.

My neighbor, who has three perfect children, has "summer rules." I was about to text her to ask for a copy of these rules, and then I thought I'd crowdsource instead. My neuro-atypical self doesn't do well with extreme structure, and I need a lot of options before I find what works for my family. The whole happy-mom-happy-kids thing rings loudly in my head, and, while my kids' happiness is for sure my life goal, I find that if I don't have the ability to WRITE/ART/MUSIC/ALONE TIME even just a LITTLE bit, then I'm a terrible parent.

So.

I gave my kids a couple of weeks of screen time fun, just to enjoy summer.

But I'd like to employ SOME sort of structure. It can't be rigid, or I won't be able to follow it. I was a pretty bossy child, and even my mother always said told me I raised myself. Self-employment was inevitable for me, and it works well. Kids have thrown a wrench in things, and I'd like to see what other people are doing.

• Do you have a checklist? 
• Do you have a magnetic chore chart?
• Do you sign up for one virtual summer camp and then let your kids have free reign the rest of the day?
• Do you have "must complete X,Y, Z" and then you get "____ minutes of screen time"?

Be specific, friends. I am a very literal person, and I'd love to see what y'all actually do. Feel free to DM or email if you don't want public posts.

Also, Y'ALL, I've started blogging more over at my Patreon: just for Patrons. Consider $1 a month to help an artist who is a good person and gets loads of views and Spotify plays but only makes $189 a year from digital streaming? I give exclusive content and early access and giggles, and it's worth it! You can join anonymously if you're, like, an ex-girlfriend of my husband's who likes to keep tabs and has found yourself actually enjoying my content but you don't want me to know that! Or at least watch this quick video??

Here's a photo of my kitchen for now!

Checking in, my beauties... how are you doing? I have now been pretty much self-isolated for over two weeks. I've been focused on keeping my littlest guy breathing for the past two weeks, so apologies for being absent on the blog. Believe me, I have things to write. Things seem okay now though, and I'm starting to feel good because: I have a functional kitchen!!

David spent the entire weekend shifting cabinets over by inches so the refrigerator would open, designing a temporary countertop so we could install the sink, searching for p-traps and various other PVC pieces from neighbors so we wouldn't have to go to the hardware store, moving the contractor's tools into the basement so we could have our dining room back, and so I would stop crying at having to take a bath with a casserole dish. Our contractor wanted to stay away because Angus had been sick, and I wanted our contractor to stay away because he also works for the Archdiocese, who continued to hold mass despite public health warnings. Win-win/Lose-lose, for all (shrug emoji). The kitchen is not finished, but I made coffee and toast this morning and did dishes in an actual sink.

I've lost all of my income for the next three months (except my Patreon! and random thing but if you click on whatever ad links are surrounding my blog, I actually get paid like ten times more than I do for a Spotify stream, how weird is that?), but I am grateful to have a husband with a job and health care and my four-year-old (he turned FOUR last week!) is breathing normally again. We will manage.

Angus spiked a fever on March 8, so I've been basically holding his sick li'l' coughing body. He spent his 4th birthday alternating antibiotics and nebulizers and cough meds and acetaminophen. The poor kid is asthmatic and could not break the fever from the adenovirus he tested positive for. Chest x-rays showed bacterial pneumonia. No, he was not tested for COVID-19, and his doctors were doubtful that he had it (because he was positive for two other respiratory viruses). Nonetheless, I have been behaving as if he does have it because this is a public health issue and when we went in for swabbing on March 11, there were no tests in Kentucky yet. He was negative for flu and strep, but positive for two respiratory viruses and an ear infection which they believed led to the pneumonia. His asthmatic tendencies made it worse. It was an awful week of tears, stress, adrenaline, no sleep, and holding my sweet baby, who is currently dressed in a dinosaur costume and on Zoom with his preschool teacher for a singalong.

Other updates: Our sweet au pair left us in February. While we are grateful to have had her when my parents were dying, we are equally grateful that she is gone now -- and not trapped in our house during The Plague. Times are strange enough, and I'm so glad she gets to be back in Brazil with her family.

I wish Graham's school had closed a week earlier, but I'm grateful that Kentucky shut down schools on March 16. On a positive note, Graham has been begging to homeschool all year long because he's grown bored with the schoolwork. I'm a big believe in public schools, and I'm welcoming this opportunity to try out homeschooling without losing his place in the wonderful public school he attends.

Now that Angus is better, I'm looking forward to making music for you, recording, writing, posting, sharing on my Patreon. I've been wanting to do more Facebook Live concerts, but haven't been able to plan any since Angus had been sick.

I'm washing my hands and settling down to write a few postcards to my Patreons and edit up some travel photos I took in Ireland last month (long story!). I had a writing retreat I've yet to tell you about, where I got back in the zone and was ready to write write write the book and the album, and then I went straight into hardcore parenting and am once again out of practice with writing. But I'll get there. Take care of yourselves and wash your hands and STAY HOME (unless of course you're an essential worker in which case bless you times a million).


ENJOY my writing? PLEASE join my PATREON. 

You know what is lame? That my mom has cancer again. I have been through all the stages of grief and keep cycling back through it, and she's still around and fighting. I'm so thankful for that. Pancreatic cancer is fierce, and I can't believe Mom has continued with chemotherapy after it's kept her mostly bedridden since December. She has some good days, but I just feel so bad for her. I know she wants to be swimming with her grandbabies and taking them to the park and cooking matzoh ball soup for her friends instead of them her.

This week I'm completely overwhelmed by the love and support of family and friends. We began accepting help in the way of meal deliveries and help rolling the recycling bin down to the curb and random flower deliveries during Mom's first chemo and subsequent hospital stays. Since then it's been really hard to manage meal trains, as her appetite is unpredictable. Still, people have wondered how they could help. After stressing over my laundry list (often a literal laundry list) of To Dos at my parents' house, I finally hit publish on the GoFundMe I started for my parents ages ago. Because meal deliveries are great, but being able to get down the stairs safely is also great.

I also wanted to share two incredible gifts we received from two families we are so lucky to have in our lives.

Yesterday, my mom received an overnight delivery from Katz's Deli on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. My mom's uncle owned a Jewish deli on Bardstown Road in Louisville in the mid-1900s, so Mom grew up knowing how proper deli food should taste. There are no more real delis in Louisville, so New York City is her favorite place to taste the comfort foods of her youth. The magical Tyra shipped a 3-course deli meal to her this week! Mom's appetite was down yesterday, but she's drooling in anticipation of digging into the pickles already:



One of our friends from the Highlands mama community and also the Wee Boy's preschool gifted us a family photo session with their favorite photographer. We'd tried to gather some family photos before, but timing was always bad.

Jessica from J Grace Photography http://www.jgrace.net/  came to our home and took some gorgeous photos of my family that I've been meaning to share for a month now:
Images by J Grace Photography http://www.jgrace.net/

It is a known fact that positive thoughts are better than negative thoughts. I understand this, but it's very hard to live it. Things that are GOOD in my present:

The fam!

1) My 4.5-year-old mowed 1/3 of my lawn yesterday. Sure, I sort of Tom-Sawyered him in a "Oh, this is so fun!" kind of way. But he's genuinely curious and very strong. We have one of those old-fashioned reel mowers, and this kid is SUCH a rule-follower that he wouldn't dare step over a chalk-line if I told him not to. Seriously, my friends clench their teeth when they watch him speed off in his scooter, only to then relax when he stops at every driveway, alley and stop sign. I told him not to go anywhere near the blade, and he mowed like a pro. I don't have a photo because, for once, I left my phone inside to enjoy the sweet moments with my children. He asked for 25cents for each time he mows the lawn, though, so we'll probably do it again on Friday.

2) My mom went to swim practice on Sunday and swam laps for 40 minutes. Most likely, that is more than you could swim. She took 2 weeks off scheduled chemo, so has been feeling better for it. I hate that it's the chemo, not the cancer, that is bringing her down.

3) Graham's passport is expiring, so I'm renewing it. This has me daydreaming and pinteresting all kinds of castles and adventures.

4) I'm still going to yoga, but have been trying to be honest with myself and do work when necessary. Yesterday, I had a babysitter for yoga, but it occurred to me that I had a zillion contracts to work on and websites to re-build and taxes to do, so I took that 90 minutes and worked on Brigid Kaelin LLC stuff instead.

5) I still journal in the 15 minutes before yoga, and apparently my fellow yogis don't think I'm a jerk for it. Instead, someone told me they "love your practice of journaling before class and try to respect your space." Yoga people, man -- aren't they great?

6) I went to a THERAPIST yesterday. Are you all breathing a huge sigh of relief for me? I swear, some of you read me like you read Jenny Lawson, just waiting for a breakdown, right? I'm doing okay, but I'm aware that my support system is either dying or has moved abroad or travels a lot or lives many states away. Apparently I need to reach out for help more and also to think about whom I could call at 3am if I needed. I know a zillion people, but I don't know anyone I could call at 3am. This is not a cry for help; it's an acknowledgment that maybe that is a negative about being an only child. Hmmmmmmm. (Insert rubbing chin emoji) I still feel that the $135 spent on therapy could perhaps have been better spent on several flights of champagne with Tara Anderson (she's really smart and good company), so maybe I'll see if I could charge a trip to Louvino to my HSA.

7) My piano is in tune, and I have been playing it more often. Funny how that works, eh? Seriously, though, I played Rhapsody in Blue in its entirely (though several sections slower than I used to be able to play them) this weekend while David got the kids ready for bed. It was so satisfying. I do love me some Gershwin.

UPCOMING GIGS:

April 2, 2017
WFPK's KENTUCKY HOMEFRONT
at Adath Jeshurun Synagoge on Woodbourne Avenue
adathjeshurun.com/radio
6:30-9:00
Tribute to Bob Dylan and Leonard Cohen
I'm singing "A Hard Rain's Gonna Fall" and "Famous Blue Raincoat"

April 9, 2017
JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR
at Headliners Music Hall, Louisville
http://headlinerslouisville.com/event/the-music-of-jesus-christ-superstar-2/
(and April 14 & 15 in Berea, KY and Madison, IN)

I'm also playing 3 private events on Derby weekend, but have room for more... HIRE ME!

xoxo
Brigid

Four years ago today I had the Wee Boy in a beautiful Birthing Centre in Edinburgh, Scotland, and can I tell you the honest answer to the question? Yes, I absolutely believe it has been four years! I have enjoyed the last two and a half immensely, but wow are those first 18 months tough. I was just writing in my journal about how much I adore Graham, and I decided to share it with the world because, people, he is the best kid.

No, he still doesn't sleep. That has been the thing about him that causes the most stress. If not-sleeping would guarantee that my Newest Boy would be exactly the same as Graham then I would happily never have him sleep through the night. Because Graham is just so good.

Ode to Graham today? Yes. No holds barred, here, either.




I keep most of my parenting triumphs to myself because I feel guilty about them. I have watched friends with similarly-aged children have a year full of "threenager" behavior: tantrums, illogical arguments, huge emotions, mood swings and general hard emotional times. Today I can say that, though this is all completely normal, I have not seen such behavior in Graham. He has thrown a tantrum, but it has never lasted more than 45 seconds. Seriously. It is bizarre, abnormal and completely wonderful.

He's a thousand times more emotionally intelligent than I am -- something I credit more to David's genes than my parenting. Honestly, none of the credit should go to my parenting. I don't do anything or know anything differently than my friends do. I just got crazy lucky with a child who takes deep breaths and talks about his feelings. It blows my mind daily, and I never take it for granted. While I'm in the kitchen throwing a spoon in frustration, Graham will come in and give me a hug and tell me, "I'm so sorry you're feeling sad. Will a snuggle make you feel better?" And I melt, people, I melt. 

People think I solo parent a lot. I'm pretty sure it's Graham doing the parenting.

Anyway ... his year as a 3-year-old has been amazing. He is a master on that scooter. You've seen him racing down the sidewalks in his unicorn helmet, seemingly without a parent (I'm just behind him a few driveways, trying to keep up), but always stopping at long driveways and alleys and streets to wait for me, me never having to remind him.

He goes off the diving boards and swims to the side by himself.

Venonat

He's a surprisingly good little artist. Lately he's taken to drawing Pokemon (or is it Pokemons?) freehand, and they are really good! Even for a 4-year-old.

He loves working crosswords -- either a kid crossword book or just writing in the letters that my mom tells him to in the newspaper puzzle.

He can even read! Seriously. I mean, it's not David Copperfield (thanks for that visual, Erin), but he can read the BOB books and sounds out words in other books all the time. I've caught him reading to his little brother, and I thought I would explode from warm fuzzies right then and there.

Ugh, I know. I'm so annoying. I'm just so stinkin' proud of that sweet little boy, who always holds the door open for me and who loves so deeply and occasionally actually cries adorable little tears of joy. I am so excited to see what magic age 4 brings.