Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Speaking to adults after baby.

Has anyone figured out how to re-learn how to speak to adults after having a child? I suppose it depends what your work is. My work is mostly teaching kids and singing my songs, so I haven't had much practice in real conversation. Are there classes out there? I feel like I need social skills.

I was talking to one of the moms in my music class this morning about how so often we say things that are horribly offensive to other moms without even knowing it. For example, I upset a friend a few months ago because I was speaking passionately about how the maternity care system is so much better in other countries than it is here. (This is a huge passion of mine, and I get worked up. I never mean it personally, of course.)
Poor kiddo was sick all last week.
At least we cuddled a lot.

So many times, other moms have upset me by their casual comments about how mean it is to have just one child. Perhaps they don't phrase it like that, but they'll say something like, "Oh, the greatest gift I ever gave Brunhilda was her sibling." Or, "I just don't want him to be an only child because I don't want him to miss out or be spoiled." They surely don't realize how insulting that is, or I don't think they would say it at all. It is very frustrating to hear, speaking as an only child who absolutely loved and benefited from being the only one.

Anyway, specifics don't matter -- we all say dumb things. At least, parents of young children say dumb things, it seems. I don't quite know how to re-enter society. I feel like I should be reading some anthropology book aimed at foreign visitors to America because I am really missing the basics here.

Anyone feel similarly?

1 comment:

  1. i was rendered speechless by a mum who claimed she couldn't possibly be a mum & work too as she'd not be good at that point i was working my erse off , including overnight shifts & parenting when i wasn't working & i felt like i'd been slapped in the face with a wet fish....still find it hard to be completely friendly with her.