|I would have put a nursing pic here, |
but I don'tseem to have any!
My goal had originally been to make it to one year. I had horrible PPD, and nursing was the only thing I felt like I could do right. (I know, I know.) But by the time he was 12 months, nursing just wasn't instrusive anymore. His sessions were super-quick -- sometimes only 1-2 minutes -- and not nearly as often during the day. I also work out of my home office, so I was readily available.
Anyway, he's still nursing now, 21 months later, and I have no plans to stop.*
All this backstory is to tell you that something miraculous has happened over the past month: I suddenly get the oxytocin release. It's not quite like a xanax, but it's kind of completely amazing. I absolutely love our nursing sessions, which of course are super quick nowadays (unless it's between 5-7am, in which case they are marathon sessions because he's teething), but I just want to squeeze and kiss and cuddle that little boy so so much.
I'm also so so so sad that I missed out on that overwhelming love that all the Facebook posts lead me to believe every single other mother out there is feeling when she looks down at her newborn baby. (See my old postpartum depression post.)
But nothing to be done about that, right? I'm just so happy to look down at him grinning while he nurses. And, oh, to be able to talk to him about it!
"What does it taste like?"So. Many. Giggles.
"Chocolate milk, Mommy!"(giggles and giggles)
"Which do you like better ... mommy milk or chocolate milk?"
"Chocolate milk!" (even more giggles) "Noooooo ... mommy milk, silly!"
It's kind of the best.
*(If you are thinking that it's weird that I'm still nursing, I really really encourage you to do a little google search on the benefits of "extended breastfeeding," a term I really dislike, by the way, because it suggests it's nursing longer than what is normal, when, really, breastfeeding is very very normal.)