Wednesday, May 14, 2014

I don't like babies. There. I said it.

I am not a baby person.

There. I said it.

Remember when I was pregnant, and I posted that puppies are cuter than babies. Guess what? I still agree with that post. I'm not supposed to admit it, but even today I don't squeal when I pass a new baby in a stroller. Most of them still look like crinkly old men. I gawk at how tiny they are, but I do not miss those days. I will, however, cross four lanes of traffic for a box of puppies.

Do I love my baby? Of course.

But I sent his crib back to Texas a few weeks ago because he can climb out of it and only ever sleeps well when he's in a big boy bed anyway ... and it was an AWESOME feeling. Then, of course, I felt guilty because apparently I'm supposed to be crying that my little boy is growing up too fast. (Fact: this still been the longest 19 months of my life!)

See? Toddlerhood rules. You can't do this
with a newborn.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I'm crazy in love with him now, but I definitely wasn't always. And I absolutely like hanging out with him a lot more now that he tells me what's going on with him or what he wants to do or what hurts or what he wants for breakfast.

I'm sure every parent has an age that they don't like. How many times have I heard: Oh, you just wait until he is mobile. You'll be exhausted, chasing him around everywhere. It's my least favorite age. I was expecting toddlerhood to be worse than infancy. Honestly, the wee boy's mobility saved me from pulling my teeth out one by one trying to figure out what he wanted. Sure, I'm chasing him around, and he's contrary and wild and wants to get into everything. He also gives me random hugs and says, "I love you, Mommy-O." I'm enjoying it a lot more than I ever did. (Especially now that he both peed and pooped in the potty this morning, entirely of his own volition -- potty-training book recommendations, anyone? I'm jumping for joy about this over here ... not shedding a tear.)

I know, I know -- I'm not supposed to wish away his childhood. Don't worry, I'm not daydreaming about sharing a pint with him in Scotland someday (although that does sound fun, especially if it means also sharing a pint with his husband, Prince George) or wishing he would just go to school already. I actually wouldn't mind pausing time at this age because he is the most perfect size to squeeze and cuddle, but he doesn't break if we wrestle rambunctiously. But I'm finally coming to terms that it's not that I don't like being a parent; I just don't like the infant phase. Unfortunately, people like me take a lot of flack for that, when no one judges the parents who complain about their teenagers.

If I could magically give birth to an 18-month-old, I might actually do this parent thing again.

Maybe I should get a puppy ...

Anyone else not a baby person?


  1. With you. :-) Surprise. ;-) Most babies look like aliens to me, and I have never had a desire to hold anyone else's newborn (and literally came close to hyperventilating my week old nephew was thrust into my arms by his proud papa) for fear of breaking them. I used to joke to friends that they never had to tell me my baby was cute before he was born as I just never found babies to be cute in general. I have to say, I was surprised at how much I enjoyed the newborn phase, but like you, I prefer right now. Even if it means epic terrible two meltdowns, there's nothing like hearing "I love you mama!" and getting big snuggles.

  2. I got here from a link on the Mama's Hip Facebook page and had to comment because I'm a crazy person in my love for Oh Crap. Potty Training. I highly recommend this ebook if you're looking for a book about potty training.

    1. I realized that an anonymous comment is totally sketch so I am logging in so as to prove that I'm not a sales bot or something.

  3. If I got to hear babies laugh more, and cry less, I'd probably like them more.

  4. I'm not an infant person either. I always wondered if it was just me that didn't enjoy the infant phase of my child. It almost made me question if I was depressed because I wasn't enjoying the infant phase. I see now that it is just a preference for some parents. Great article and thanks for sharing.