Thursday, February 6, 2014

Why "you are not alone" is really annoying advice.

We all know that social media is great for keeping up with friends and terrible for feeling good about yourself. I've read more articles and blogs on parenting than I ever thought I could, and one theme sticks out more than any other: the idea that you are not alone.

Don't get me wrong -- it's a nice thing to read. When I first wrote about postpartum depression and was inundated with messages from fellow sufferers, it made me think I -- at the very least -- wasn't going completely mental. Ultimately, however, I still feel like I am in this alone. (I have a great partner, so this isn't about balancing parenting. But he doesn't have the hormonal imbalances and engorged breast problems that I do.)

Basically, every article that talks about how we are the first generations in history to try to raise children without grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, the village, etc, all helping us out ... well, those articles may be right, but they don't make my day any easier. They tell me that I'm not supposed to be able to handle it all, but that doesn't make me suddenly able to cope with things perfectly.

You are not alone.

But, yes, I really am.

Sorry for the angsty blog today. #deardiary
I'll put a cute snow picture up to make up for it.

I don't mean that we haven't had any help. My parents watch him while I work. And D's parents come to down a few times a year and are a godsend when they do. My only point here is that just because there are other people in the same boat as you are doesn't mean that you aren't alone. The fact is that we DO live different lifestyles than our ancestors. If I had seven sisters and cousins who were lactacting, I would be getting a lot more sleep. The help we do get is way way way way appreciated:)

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