I try not to post a lot of whinges* on here, unless they are funny. No one wants to read constant complaing. At the same time, I feel like if everything is sunshine and puppy-dogs, then I'm being exactly the kind of person I called out on that PPD blog. Can't win.
To be completely honest, I still feel like I'm going insane. We aren't at a point where we can afford child care just yet, so I'm only ever away from the baby when I'm teaching lessons or when he's napping (briefly, ever so briefly, and I throw in a load of laundry, cook a pot of soup, or write a quick and obviously unedited blog for you because it's my only connection with the outside world and because it's the only therapy I can afford on my current health insurance plan).
Whinge*, whinge, whinge (I really do love that word!).
When I was in the depths of PPD, I had no urge to play music or create anything. Now I'm feeling a bit better, and I finally have an urge to record a new album, to write new music, even to finish up that novel, but I'm going mental. I make lists, I plan which new song will be my Track 4, I think about who I want to produce it, and how I will tour it. Then I cry because how the hell am I going to record anything when I'm on pretty much full-time baby duty?
I know I'll figure it out eventually. I know I've got to make the time, or I'll go insane. I also know I'm supposed to be enjoying every single minute of my baby because apparently he'll be graduating from college next year or something.
I'm gathering lots of rosebuds, I really am. I completely adore the wee boy, and I'm pretty sure he's the cutest, smartest baby every to live, with the prettiest blue eyes that ever were. He's the best cuddler with the softest skin, and his laugh is the most perfect music I've ever heard.
But man, I really want to make a new album!
verb: whinge; 3rd person present: whinges; past tense: whinged; past participle: whinged; gerund or present participle: whingeing
- 1.complain persistently and in a peevish or irritating way."stop whingeing and get on with it!"
noun: whinge; plural noun: whinges
an act of complaining.