In light of my extreme success despite lack of effort, I am now considering offering my services to the Olympic Swim Team (country to be determined, or whatever, I'm for sale!). Surely some country is down a swimmer, right? And don't worry about my condition. It turns out there have been quite a few pregnant Olympic athletes, including a 2012 competitor from Malaysia who is also eight months along. Sure, she's a shooter, but that seems more dangerous than a few laps in a pool. I got this.
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