Monday, June 27, 2011

Wedding Confessions begin ... countdowns and irrational fears.

Six months ago I started blogging my wedding over on for various reasons. The main reason was that I didn't feel like wedding nonsense belonged on this blog. In the past month, however, I've become so consumed with it that I can hardly think about anything else. It is both annoying and embarrassing. I've finally come to terms with just writing about it over here. If I don't write the crazy out of my mind, it festers there. That's no good for anyone.

And so, I apologize, but I've got some crazy to get out of my system.

How about this for a confession? I am terrified of being in the spotlight. You're laughing, I know. Sure, I'm completely at home -- perhaps most comfortable -- when I'm on stage. I've never had stage fright. Even singing in front of a broadcast audience of two million people with Garrison Keillor clapping along next to me didn't phase me in the least. But the idea of walking down an aisle with everyone staring at my every move is totally freaking me out.

Dumb, I know. I'm just used to spending my worry-time worrying about how I sound, not how I look. Every single bridesmaid (and apparently a few groomsmen) is suddenly on a diet or insane workout regime. People have been asking me all kinds of fashion and accessory questions or how I'm wearing my hair. Apparently, what I look like is important, and that is something I'm not used to caring much about.

I did finally cave in and make a hair appointment for that day, mostly so I don't have to think about it. Although, now I've been told to bring in magazine clippings and such of styles that I like. I'm tempted to just do what the morning shows do, and have everyone vote on what dress to wear, and what hairstyle to don, and what flower to stick in my weave and whatnot.

Maybe if I just playing the accordion down the aisle, no one will notice my shoes.

1 comment:

  1. You don't have to get your hair done on your wedding day. I didn't. I just let it air dry and then put a pretty barrette in it that my friends gave me. I wore the same makeup I wear whenever I wear makeup, which is to say almost none. The photographer was at a total loss as to what to do when he would normally be taking "primping bride" photos. He asked me to pretend to be "doing" my hair, whatever that means. I knew from those times I'd had profession hair and makeup done for magazine things that I would not be comfortable or look or feel like myself. Nothing against having these things done for those who like it and appreciate it. I'm just saying you want to feel like yourself on your wedding day. I did buy fancy heels, mainly because I didn't feel like having my ($200) J Crew dress hemmed. But I wore them for about 20 minutes before changing into sneakers I could dance in. I should have hemmed the dress and bought white sneakers. My vote is go to your wedding looking like yourself. Being married isn't about wearing a costume and masquerading as someone you're not and the ceremony shouldn't be either.