The Crown Jewels of Kentucky were stolen! (For just a minute)


I was never one of those little girls who dreamed about being in the Miss America/USA Pageants, but I did always like watching them on TV. My favorite was the talent competition, particularly the rhythm baton dancers and the bad singers. (I'm not sure that the Miss USA pageant would be big on a musical saw concert in the talent competition.) So when I was seated next to Miss Kentucky USA at the Inaugural Gala on Monday night, I admit to wanting to plow her with questions.

I also admit to liking this whole red carpet/fake celebrity thing, and I always feel like I'm pulling a great heist when I get all dressed up and have my picture taken at some event. Since being a musician obviously doesn't pay well, it's the little perks like an invitation or a free CD that make up for the salary.

But speaking of great heists... hee hee... when Miss Kentucky USA took the stage at the Gala for the Talent Competition -- in which she blew everyone away by singing "Proud Mary" and completely owning it -- she opted to leave her tiara and sash back at our table.

Honestly, folks, I had been kidding earlier in the day with my tweet: Apparently Miss Kentucky is also singing tonight. Wouldn't it be embarrassing if we showed up in the same tiara? But there it was, just sitting there, inches away from my wine glass. I felt some sort of Beefeater responsibility to guard the Crown Jewels of Kentucky for about thirty seconds. Then I felt mischievous and needed to try it on.

It's heavy, folks. And so sparkly and big. If Miss Kentucky USA hadn't been so perfectly nice and charming and an amazing singer to boot, I might have taken a lap around the room in that magnificent tiara. But as it was, I just put it on long enough to take a picture and giggle wildly, then watched her wail the rest of "Proud Mary."

I was a little afraid to post this on here because I'm sure she's on Facebook and might not appreciate my skullduggery. But then she seemed to have a good sense of humor. Besides, I promise to watch her and cheer for her on TV this spring. I just hope one of the other girls is a rhythm baton dancer.

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