Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Nor am I a hostess.

FWT's parents are coming to Louisville for Thanksgiving. This has posed an interesting question: do we really need turkey? I don't eat meat, and FWT is currently not eating meat (It's not my fault; he read a book.) We missed the deadline to buy a Heritage Turkey, which was really the only kind we felt remotely comfortable buying for our families. I don't think it was laziness that made us miss the deadline, however. I think it was that we really just wondered how important the actual turkey is. (Let's not even discuss Tofurkey: icky.)

I like Thanksgiving, but honestly, I have never liked turkey. In middle school, my parents made these good-looking sandwiches out of the Thanksgiving leftovers the week after the holiday, and I sold mine to Kyle for a dollar, opting to buy two ice cream sandwiches instead. Mom's sandwich was good, but that's because of the mayonnaise overload. And, though it's a hard decision, ultimately I prefer ice cream to mayonnaise.

Another question about impending company: just how much do we clean? We are not dirty people, but we are not the most tidy either. Also, our dining room table is not a table at all; it is a grand piano, surrounded by barstools. (I acquired another piano at one point, so clearly the dining room table had to go.) I'm pretty sure we don't own a single tablecloth, much less matching napkin rings. Last year was the first time I learned that a "charger" was not just something for my cell phone, so clearly I don't own any of those.

My clear status as domestic un-goddess makes me wonder what we were thinking when we volunteered to host Thanksgiving. Fortunately, because of FWT's birthday last week, we now have eight different kinds of bourbon and two scotches. Combine that with all the other standard side dishes -- all of which are vegetarian by default -- and I guess all hope isn't lost.

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