Last week I was cleaning the basement to store the yard-sale-stuff (it's clear I'll have to wait until spring to have one), when I came across a box of curiosities. I giggled as I pulled out a silver mixing bowl. It's desperately in need of polishing, but I could still make out the letters, "BRIGID KAELIN - AHS 1996 - 12 YEARS PERFECT ATTENDANCE."***
Yes, we all know that I am a big nerd, but now we all know that I am also a big HEALTHY nerd. I think my all-powerful immune system is due to my parents Jewish/Catholic intermarriage. The biology of love says that you are evolutionarily attracted to people with different immune systems from your own, which will thus lead to strong offspring. The Jews are an in-bred tribe and the Irish-Catholics as well (sorry, mom and dad, but you're both in-bred), but my folks branched out when they made me, thus creating a redheaded rock of immunity.
Usually, I'm not worried about getting sick, but with all the swine flu and general flu freak-out this year, I am in battle-mode. I refuse to get sick. There is no time for illness. And so I am armed with Airbourne for me and Hand Sanitizer for those kids who come over to my house for piano lessons and touch all over my keyboard. And multi-vitamins and extra Vitamin C tablets. And an apple a day.
My stupid health insurance always denies every doctor's visit anyway, and Airbourne is cheaper than Anthem. Maybe I should tell them about my Perfect Attendance Silver Bowl. Think they would discount my premium?
*** The Jefferson County Public School Students from the Class of 1995 with 12 Years Perfect Attendance each received a trip to France. I got a silver bowl. Hmpf.
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