I know, I know ... i haven't posted the video. If y'all want to come help me paint a few rooms, replace a few floor joists, and rip out some rotten sub-flooring and re-tile, then I can edit diving videos while you do that. In the mean time ... let's just write about diving.
Sunday was The Biggest Splash Competition. It was an excellent day for a splash-off, with hundreds of people lounging on rafts, watching the competition unfold. After much scientific research, I've concluded the best way to create a huge splash is by doing a "Can Opener." "Cannonballs," on the other hand, are much more fun to watch, but the splash yields width, not height. And on Sunday, the judges were looking for water displacement, waves, and height.
Friend-with-a-Truck and I arrived early to get a few practice jumps in before the competition began. I was not a contestant, as my goal with diving has always been to create as LITTLE splash as possible. You know, like the Olympics. I've never been one for a Can Opener, and I didn't feel like a day as important as Competition Day was the day to begin. Friend-with-a-Truck, however, had been practicing for weeks, and he immediately approached the high dive like the focused champion that he is.
A major factor in any competition is intimidation. Friend-with-a-Truck has mastered intimidation. The trick, I gathered from watching him in action, is to remain friendly -- almost too friendly -- and act calm, then blow their minds by doing a huge Can Opener off the High Dive. He blew the minds of those 11-year-olds who were also practicing their moves.
The competition was divided into age groups -- 6 and under, 7-10, 11-14, 14-17, 18-44, and 45+.
This was a relief because an older gentleman showed up and blew OUR minds while FWAT was rehearsing (or "We call it PRACTICE in sports, you know," as he says). This guy climbed up that board with the most intense focus, and did double gainers off the high board, still managing a tidal wave of a splash by the time he entered the water. There was no contest, and if it weren't for the age division, we might have gone home at that moment.
FWAT was the first guy to score a perfect "10" for his splash. But then, tension mounted as the next contestant also rated a perfect "10." There was a splash-off, and FWAT became the runner-up.
That's okay, though, because if the reigning Splash Champion cannot fulfill his duties, then FWAT, as first-runner up, will step up to the challenge.
-There was a 10-year-old girl who destroyed everyone in her age division, including the boys. She could have held her own with FWAT and the other older champs as well.
- The 45+ Women's division champ won with a one-and-a-half turned into upside-down-can-opener.
- My drummer showed up and ended up placing a close 2nd in the 45+ men's division. He had to go right after the double gainer guy though, so he didn't stand a chance.
- It turns out there were no women in the 18-44 division, so I could have won with a simple toes-pointed back dive. Hmpf.
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