Thursday, April 2, 2009

Good Grammar is Sexy


Guest blog today brought to you today by

I love a woman with great grammar more than just anything. I wish I could
say more than sex, but that's just not true.

Your vs. You're. Why is that even an issue? They're not confusing
in the least bit. One's a damned contraction and obviously doesn't convey
possession at all!

Their, They're, There. Damn it people. Why is this confusing?
Homonyms/Homophones is not an excuse for misuse.

Plural Possessive. Just because a word ends in an "s" does not
mean possessive is s' all the time. It's Charles's house, not Charles'
house. There aren't more than one of us (thank God). If there were
more than one of us, it would be Charleses' house.

Impact. I know that this is a losing fight now, but it still breaks my
heart. Impact is not a verb. It has, for whatever reason, become
accepted as a verb. Wait a minute...I know why...because folks were so
fearful of misusing effect/affect that they tried to find an alternative so
they wouldn't look stupid. Ironic isn't it. Affect is a verb.
Effect is a noun. Impact is a noun. Impact and Effect are synonyms;
Impact and Affect are not. Imagine a stuffy conference room in a stuffy
company...someone giving a shitty powerpoint presentation. Dork in the
back of the room, eager to impress the boss says, "But how does this
impact our bottom line?" Idiot.

...Charles steps down from his soap box and awaits your criticism...

When not bitching about grammar, Charles would prefer to be laying in a hammock
under a palm tree. With a beer. And you.

(Ladies: he's single! Hmmmm ... maybe he should re-think his personal ad. -brigid)

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