Thursday, June 19, 2008

Drunk Girl. Part Four. Michigan. Other thoughts.

Question posed by a blog commenter:
Do female musicians get male groupies?

I'm not sure about that. I've definitely had some creepy old men look at my chest for an uncomfortably long time. But there's a different vibe when it's male superfans versus female groupies.

I actually saw women -- seemingly normal women -- pretty much throw themselves at the band.

I should also point out that there were two females in Days of the New during this past trip, and not once was I propositioned, nor was Rachael. And I am not complaining. Thanks for not following me back to my hotel, guys.

The band is really not a hard-rocker-trash-the-hotel-room type of band. In fact, I'm wondering if any bands out there are actually like that anymore. It seems to me that groupies have this idea in their heads that they need to act totally crazy and promiscuous because, well, that's what rock stars are used to. So, really, it's just the drunk girls who end up trashing the hotel rooms and therefore making it impossible to actually get to bed at a reasonable time.

Drunk girls, Bartenders, Superfans, and Normal people, let me offer you some suggestions:

1) That ring on the 4th finger of his left hand means something, or he would have taken it off before the show started. Why must you persist?

2) Just because the girl is selling merch does not mean she is sleeping with anyone in the band.

3) Sometimes there are actual, real-life, female musicians ... not just "band girlfriends." In fact, why would a traveling rock-n-roll band ever bring a girlfriend along? The guys would spend the entire time arguing with their girlfriends, explaining that the breast-flashing was entirely unprovoked and that orange girl followed us back to the hotel of her own accord.

4) We requested a non-smoking hotel room because we don't want you to light up in our room.

5) I'm sure your boobs were very expensive, but that does not mean i want to see them.

6) Drunk isn't pretty.

Maybe I'm just a very boring rock-n-roll musician. I mean, hell, I spent my day in Atlanta at the Jimmy Carter Presidential Library. Maybe these band members act different because they allowed two girls in their band.


Hmmmmm... what else?

I brought along a delicious bottle of Four Roses Single Barrel Bourbon, for after-show hotel-room sipping. I did not share with the drunk girls.

"Touchdown Jesus" in Monroe, Ohio, remains one of my favorite roadside attractions. Have you seen it? Also known as "Drowning Jesus", or "MC 62 Ft Jesus." It never ceases to amuse me.



Do any of you live in Michigan? And why?

I should say that Peter and I stayed in beautiful Saline, Michigan a few weeks ago, and had a charming lunch in Ann Arbor. But really, it was May and sunny and warm. Michigan is sooo soo soo o very cold in the winter, that the only times they can do construction work is in the summer. So after a long sucky winter of freezing your toosh, you're ready to get outside, and it takes 2 hours to drive 30 miles because of all the road construction? What kind of an existences it that?
Do you choose Michigan? Or does Michigan choose you?

Warning to you travelers: It might take 3 hours to drive the 60 miles from Detroit to Toledo. I-75 South is closed for the foreseeable future. Bring along a GPS and train it to "avoid highways."


There is lots of youtube footage of the Days of the New gigs from the past week or two. Have a look if you like.


I've finally got some confirmed dates in ... the United Kingdom! See you in October. Who lives over there? Want a houseguest? Or a house concert? Cheerio!

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