Click to hear a first master of a NEW SONG! It's called "18 Months Later," and I wrote it during that odd waiting period when my mom was living long past her prognosis. I'd already turned down a leading role in a National Touring Broadway show because she was supposed to be dying ... but then she lived ... so how long can people live with life-on-hold? Anyway, sounds oddly familiar to pandemic-living, when we can't make plans. Have a listen to the preview (it is not a final master, but the song is there, available to my wonderful, loyal blog-readers!).

It was created by Patrons -- the reason I can pandemicly-record (which is shockingly expensive, even in the era of Garageband!!).

Today I’m releasing a video I’m quite proud of: THIRTY musical saws playing my orchestral arrangement of “Happy Birthday to You”...  in a minor key. I recorded it on my dad’s Death Day, and I’m releasing it on my mom’s birthday (which is just a few weeks before her Death Day).

Now is the part where you ask: Brigid, ARE YOU OKAY?? 

Why, thank you for your concern! I am. I think. Adulting is hard.

Last month I glanced at the kitchen calendar and noticed my 7-year-old had scrawled “Grandude’s Death Day” on one of the boxes. It made me smile, which was nice on a day I certainly didn’t need reminding of.  

And so, rather than weep on that one-year-anniversary, I demanded time alone, sat with my musical saws and decided to conquer something I’d wanted to for over twenty years: record track after track, overlaying sounds and pitches, using my 20”, 26”, and 30” saws to see exactly what an orchestra of thirty musical saws would sound like.

Why musical saw and why thirty? My dad was the first to show me the saw, around the time I started playing the cello in elementary school. When I eventually read Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, a paragraph jumped out at me, something that most readers likely just glided past: 

It was an incredible sight. The dungeon was full of hundreds of pearly-white, translucent people, mostly drifting around a crowded dance floor, waltzing to the dreadful, quavering sound of thirty musical saws, played by an orchestra on a raised, black-draped platform.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpImnRaYbD0

The main characters had gone to the dungeon of Hogwarts to a ghost’s 500th Death Day party. It was apparently a weird and spooky event, as you’d imagine a crowd full of ghosts would be.

It was also the first pop culture reference I’d seen to the musical saw, and I swore one day I’d make a video like the one I’m releasing today. 

This was 1998, before Harry Potter had been licensed, before the films, etc. I hoped that maybe I’d be able to record 30 musical saws for the movie someday, if ever one was made. (Imposter Syndrome struck hard: I know now that I absolutely could have found a way to get to Warner Brothers and create a musical saw orchestra for the film, if I’d been more confident!)

I hope y’all enjoy the video and find it charming, useful, maybe a little tearful, but not flippant. My mom’s 2nd Death Day is several weeks away, but I’m releasing this on her birthday instead.

Recorded on my dad’s Death Day; released on my mom’s birthday. My birthday is at the end of July (just like JK Rowling’s), and I acknowledge that this a weird way of dealing with grief. It took me trying to celebrate my first birthday without my parents to realize that birthdays are not a celebration of the day you are born; they are a celebration of the day you meet your parents. 

As I’m not particularly looking forward to a birthday without my parents, let’s do this year in a minor key. 

***

The Making Of!

How did I do it?

 From a musical standpoint, I switched the melody from a major key to a minor key. People tend to associate sad things with minor keys and happy things with major keys. I typically play "Happy Birthday" in Ab major on my favorite Stanley 26”, so I switched to Ab minor (G#minor if you are a transcription-geek like I am) flattening the Fs and most of the Cs. That’s why the song itself sounds mournful rather than joyous. 

From a video/audio standpoint: 

There’s not really a way to record THIRTY split-screens easily, but the ACapella app has 9-part and 6-part screens templates. Basically I made four separate Acapella videos, each set to the same metronome tempo. 9+9+6+6=30. Yes!

1. I recorded the melody once, then put on headphones, switched saws and played along to my first recording while recording a second video. The Acapella app makes split-screens a LOT easier, but it does require you to do a perfect take; no mistakes, no “punching in” or auto-tuning. Here’s a link to a Tutorial on How to Use the Acapella app.

2. I arranged 3-5 melody parts (each slightly different depending on the saw) and layered track after track. There are 6 videos playing some version of the melody, but in various octaves on different saws.

3. Next, I created a new 9-part split-screen entirely composed of some alto lines. 

4. Repeat for tenor harmonies, with 9 videos, since the tenor parts are typically the most interesting to me.

5. Repeat for bass harmonies, only six videos of these, and most played on my 30” baritone saw.

6. I added some reverb and mixed the audio -- I wanted the melody line a little louder, and for the bass & tenor parts to come at you from both sides (which only really matters if you’re listening with swanky swanky headphones, but, hey, I am a music geek!).

7. I downloaded each video to my phone, then to my laptop, where I used iMovie (hoping to earn enough Patreon money to justify purchasing a better software program soon, hint hint!) to put the pieces together.

8. The trickiest bit was lining up the sound wave files from each video, but i did that by stretching out the media files and making sure the wave forms matched, then listening obsessively just to make sure.

9. I used the “picture in picture” function on iMovie to make the 30 videos go together. I’ll make a youtube tutorial on that someday because it’s too complex and boring to go into that now. It involves exporting the mixed video four times and layering it. 

10. I added some title cards! That part was mostly easy, though would have been much faster in Adobe or FinalCut. (I had to create some transparent PNG files in Google Docs to layover the final video in order to get the titles in the right part of the screen. The title cards that come with iMovie weren’t cutting it for me.)

I’m now just THRILLED to release it, and I’m even more thrilled to release it on my mom’s birthday. She was born in summer, and she died in summer. My dad was born ten days after the winter solstice and died before the summer solstice. There is so much magic in dates, even when we’re not looking for them and even when we don’t believe in them.

*The reason I’m proud of this video is NOT because of the musical prowess it took to arrange and perform; I’m proud that I finally recorded it. You see, I was taught by the music and business world that I should play dumb, and I’m tired of that. I’ve got skills, y’all, and I’ve wanted to arrange a thirty-part musical saw orchestra for YEARS. 

What are you reading?! Ever since my surgery, I've been completely unable to focus on anything. I already have #neurodiversesquad issues, but I've learned how to manipulate my mind when I need to. Since that anesthesia, however, my brain fog is just IMMENSE. I have been trying to get through a light, Scottish rom-com, beach read, and I just cannot. I'd love nothing more to be lost in a novel right now, though, so I'm going to list some good reads and hope that inspires me to focus a little more. I'd love to hear what you're reading and will happily take recommendations.

(Also: jump over to Patreon.com/brigidkaelin if you are a patron, and watch an exclusive video project that I'm REALLY proud of. It's an orchestral arrangement. I contain multitudes, like the ability to score songs in 30-part harmony. And if you're not a Patron, would you please please join so I can make art without constantly having to SELL it?!?)

My mom snuggling me!

This is my baby brother, George. (He died in 2017.)

Hiiiii. So if you are a patron, you already read the juicy details about my surgery, but I figured I'd updated the masses here. (Just kidding; you aren't "the masses." Become a Patron! That's just a throwback to my high school history teacher who threw around those terms casually and ironically so he could point out injustices to our bubbled classroom experiences. And these are the things I think about at 2:30am during a pandemic that is only getting worse where I am.) I'm on the mend. I still have a shoulder sling and my arm still hurts like hell, and I still can't play the guitar or accordion but i can play left-handed piano and sleep sometimes. No saw for a while though. I am thankful to be ambidextrous, and I've actually been doing some pretty cool left-handed drawings on the iPad. I'll share a coloring page I created for you sometime...  

Now for the rest of my pre-dawn ramblings!

Become a Patron!

Photo of my wedding for absolutely no reason other than I was looking at old photos.

I'm worried. That's nothing new; I'm always worried. I'm also angry and bitter and angry for others and annoyed by others. It feels like so many artists have struggled for so long, and in the slightly-more-egalitarian arts-world that was brought to us by the internet, there was room for non-wealthy people to have some level of success or at least have a small platform or middle class artist life.

Coronavirus is knocking those climbers right back down to where we started, which is to say that now, only the independently wealthy can afford to be artists. That means we are going to hear art and stories from mainly white men with patrons. Lesser known artists -- and those of us who are primary caregivers for small children -- are falling to the wayside.

There is some hope out there that some of those white men with platforms will help amplify the voices of others rather than rolling in the spotlight themselves, but it's a crapshoot. I see more artists than ever actually trying to use their powers for good, but I am also feeling left out of the fold because: I am a mother. (And you wonder why I kept my second pregnancy secret!)

I've found that mothers have had their voices particularly squashed, especially in weird pandemic times that are forcing families to revert to single-income households. Which family member quits their jobs when childcare is unavailable? The lower-earners: primarily women.

Anyway, this is a blog, not a well-reasoned essay. It's just the thoughts that keep me up at night.

I was excited for a while, as women and other artists who have experienced oppression are more likely to share the spotlight and amplify voices of Black artists, disabled artists, poor artists, women artist, LGBTQ artists, and more. It felt as if lockdown had leveled the playing field... we all had to perform from our homes.

But then we started to see quickly that homes are not all equal. Some artists have $10k microphones. Some have home studios. Hell, some have homes.  

I'd like to donate a USB microphone to an artist out there who needs one. I can't level the playing field on my own, especially when I'm typing one-handed from an 11-year-old laptop while wearing a shoulder sling, but I can offer a small piece of gear that would make it easier for an artist with fewer advantages to tell their story and share their art.

Tag an artist who might be in need? Or maybe better to privately send me a message with names of folks in need? I'd like to raise the funds to help others tell their stories.

We need to hear all kind of art these days; not just white men.

I'm in a sling for a while, but I'm anxious to get back in front of the camera and connect. When's good tonight? I might pop online and see if I can do a live-stream with my left hand and loud voice. Maybe my four-year-old can strum while i play chord changes of the guitar...

Greetings from bed! I sat in the backyard for half an hour and chatted with a friend yesterday, and apparently that was too much for my little weak body. It sent me straight back to bed and now I'm forcing bedrest so my shoulder and arm muscles will heal on up.

Prior to surgery, I hyper-focused and recorded a TON of content. not knowing when i'd be able to play an instrument again. I still don't know when I'll have access to my right hand, but I do know I've got a lot of fun content to share.

My current problem is that I WANT TO SHARE EVERYTHING! It's like when you buy a gift for some reason, but there's no possible way to wait until Christmas or birthday to give it to them so you must bequeath it to them as a "Second Tuesday" gift or whatever. I want to just video dump SO MUCH CONTENT to my Patreon page.

Alas, I need to chillax. To save up and to post a regular intervals, so as to hide my manic depression a little better :)

In the mean time, here's a video I recorded EXCLUSIVELY for patrons, but have now released into the wild. So you can watch it, whether you have joined my site or not. Grab that old saw from your garage and give this a whirl. I'm stuck in bed, so I'm available to answer your musical saw questions.




Become a Patron! For as little as $1/month ($12/year!), you can be part of an awesome TEAM that keeps Brigid's writing, songwriting, video-making, and whisky-sharing, and joy-spreading career going. Give Brigid a little external validation and join Patreon TODAY. You've been putting it off too long :) 

Hello from one-handed typing and 4 am! I'm almost 24 hours post surgery.  (Here are my surgery details, if you missed that post.) Spent yesterday on twitter and pain meds, probably not a great combination. I'm up early because my shoulder hurts and i need to ice it and also I need to browse rural land in Scotland because that is a totally reasonable thing to do and think of the novels i could write there and the music videos i could shoot there. Or who wants to buy this castle with me?

Today I'm thinking about how it is far too easy to buy random stuff.

Between credit cards and internets, combined with pain pills ... what pain presents (or even just pandemic presents) have you purchased???

• My dad bought a 75" television 9 days before he died. He was going blind and wanted to watch golf.
  
• My neighbor sponsored a child in Africa while taking ambien. She had no memory of doing it, but gelt too guilty to cancel, thus budgeted for it for years.
  
• I am trying to not buy a Nespresso machine, even though i'm trying to add a regular amount of caffeine in order to regulate my ADHD. I hate those little pods, but i loooooooove the taste. They make a stainless steel reusable pod, but then how do i get the actual Nespresso coffee? Because that is what tastes like Europe and all the places  can only dream about going for a while.
  
• I did just buy an electric toothbrush bc brushing properly hurts my good arm, and I'm not ready for a double-sling.

Hello! If you're a patron, then you can read some personal news here  https://www.patreon.com/posts/blog-some-38347878 and thank you so much for directly supporting me.

Photo purely because Joe Mays takes nice pics, and y'all should know who he is.

I've blogged for 15 years for free, and I'll still make most of my blogs public. But not this one. In an attempt to thank y'all who've joined my Patreon and to make it worth your hard-earned-dollar, I'm putting some exclusive blogs over there. Love y'all.

Also, just join my Patreon if you wanna know what's up with me. (No, I'm not pregnant, though that would be a really good marketing ploy to get you to join my Patreon. But, come on, if you've been thinking Oh I should do that, then maybe just go ahead now pretty please. You can make up a fake name if you don't want me to know who you are.)

Brainsplosion.

My neighbor, who has three perfect children, has "summer rules." I was about to text her to ask for a copy of these rules, and then I thought I'd crowdsource instead. My neuro-atypical self doesn't do well with extreme structure, and I need a lot of options before I find what works for my family. The whole happy-mom-happy-kids thing rings loudly in my head, and, while my kids' happiness is for sure my life goal, I find that if I don't have the ability to WRITE/ART/MUSIC/ALONE TIME even just a LITTLE bit, then I'm a terrible parent.

So.

I gave my kids a couple of weeks of screen time fun, just to enjoy summer.

But I'd like to employ SOME sort of structure. It can't be rigid, or I won't be able to follow it. I was a pretty bossy child, and even my mother always said told me I raised myself. Self-employment was inevitable for me, and it works well. Kids have thrown a wrench in things, and I'd like to see what other people are doing.

• Do you have a checklist? 
• Do you have a magnetic chore chart?
• Do you sign up for one virtual summer camp and then let your kids have free reign the rest of the day?
• Do you have "must complete X,Y, Z" and then you get "____ minutes of screen time"?

Be specific, friends. I am a very literal person, and I'd love to see what y'all actually do. Feel free to DM or email if you don't want public posts.

Also, Y'ALL, I've started blogging more over at my Patreon: just for Patrons. Consider $1 a month to help an artist who is a good person and gets loads of views and Spotify plays but only makes $189 a year from digital streaming? I give exclusive content and early access and giggles, and it's worth it! You can join anonymously if you're, like, an ex-girlfriend of my husband's who likes to keep tabs and has found yourself actually enjoying my content but you don't want me to know that! Or at least watch this quick video??

About a year before my dad died, he gave me his camera. He was a really good photographer throughout his life, but a tumor was obstructing his photography eye. I've avoided looking at his photos, as I've been trying to focus on the bigger things that need attending to (his clothes, Mom's clothes, bowling trophies, random cables, other crap accumulated that takes up more room than a small SD card). This morning I took at look at the drive though, and I found a few beautiful photos I wanted to share. No editing, not even the magic "enhance" button: just some pics that brought me a little bit of joy.

The first shot is me singing at my own wedding. I swore I wouldn't work that day, but I needed a break from talking to everyone. Since I couldn't hide in the bathroom, I hid behind a microphone. The second photo is of sweet David watching me on stage.

Thank you, Daddy, for capturing those moments. I was afraid to look at your camera, but there are some wonderful moments on here.

What a week of excitement, anger, brutality, coordination, peace, frustration, and just about any combination of feelings and action you can juxtapose. Louisville is a wild place to be right now, though from my little corner of the city, I suppose I'm at the same vantage point as anyone else in the world: watching from my phone.

It's an interesting time to be an artist. I want to write my feelings out, but I also don't think my feelings are particularly important right now. Instead I want to amplify the stories and the songs of black artists, who have much more relevant things to say. I'm also such low-level artist, who doesn't have the same reach as a real celebrity, that it feels weird to even be writing about it.

This morning I'm sitting in my house thinking about ... well, thinking about everything... and wondering what I could be doing from my own 'career.' Almost too many options.

From a more specific angle, a musical colleague sent me some recorded music that I'm trying to write lyrics to. The music is peppy, fun, and ... was composed before the protests began. I've never written lyrics to someone else's music before (i always write my own music), so it's already a strange-but-cool position for me to be in. I'm enjoying the prompt, but all that's on my mind is protest songs and focused rage and desire to give my platform to OTHER people.

When I see a white musician post a song about current events, I want to beg them to let black artists have this moment instead.

So I don't know that it's appropriate to write a protest song or song about current events from my perspective. And I don't want to do what I have done in the past: which is to write a song from the POV of someone else, in an attempt to understand their feelings. This isn't the moment to speak for other people: this is the moment to FINALLY let The Other SPEAK. SHOUT. ANYTHING.

Anyway, I've written some protest-y lyrics to this peppy country track, but I'm thinking of going back, rewriting it, making it more of an ABBA-kind-of-track about puppies or rainbows instead.

In related news, if you're a person who likes to download actual audio files instead of just streaming, then go support some black musicians on BandCamp. Today, ending at midnight, Bandcamp is waiving their fees, so 100% of the money goes to artists. It's a way to directly support musicians who need to be amplified. Here's a list of black musicians with links to their bandcamps!

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