The Red Accordion Diaries

Kentucky musician who travels, eats, parents, writes, fights cancer, etc.

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Today I've got absolutely nothing deep or wise to share with you. I've been working on developing some sort of self-care routine, which, apparently, does not involve as much blogging as I would like. But priorities, right?

In the mean time, it's Christmas, and I feel the need to look at John Lewis ads.
John Lewis is a department store in the UK. It's huge, it has a haberdashery, and it's got the best commercials I've ever seen, always guaranteed to make you weepy.


Here is one for this year:


Here's my favorite ever:


Seriously, that one. Tears!!

This week in Louisville:

12/23 at 10:30am Holiday singalong at Mama's Hip! $10/family. No signup required.
12/23 at 7pm (I play at 8) at Headliners Music Hall. $10/person or FREE with new or gently used blanket to donate. Johnny Berry headlines. Just decided to make this a band show, so I called out a couple of friends to play with me. Bring your dancing boots!

Louisville! I'm playing at Headliner's next week. So maybe if you're in town, you can come? 

Facebook event for more details and tickets. I play first -- at 8:00. Doors at 7. Then I'm just gonna hang out and dance because that's what one should do at these sorts of events.

103.9 The Hawk presents Johnny Berry Presents Honky Tonk Holidaze
featuring Steve Cooley, Jeff Guernsey, Emily Portman, Stephen Couch, Ricky Puckett & Dave Johnson with Brigid Kaelin and a special appearance by Hillybilly Santy Claus
Wednesday, December 23
Doors 7PM Show 8PM
$10 or free with a new or gently used blanket for Salvation Army
18+


What else has been going on?

Poor puppy was sick last week.
No one got anything done:(
I'm trying to establish some kind of routine for myself. Pre-motherhood, it wasn't much of a challenge. Or, rather, a routine wasn't really necessary to my actually getting things done. I've never enjoyed linear work or workdays. Some might call it ADHD, but even in school (and I was a straight-A student, people) I always had a million books or projects or whatnot going at once. I'd do half a math assignment, start the english paper, come back to math -- it worked for me. 

I'm starting to realize now that I need a routine. There just isn't enough time to myself to work the way I used to work. All internet searches for daily routine or self-care routine or whatnot lead me to the conclusion that none of these people have children. Of course it would be great to "start the day with 30 minutes of exercise, followed by a 10-minute meditation session and a 20-minute hot shower!" I read one yesterday that continued this fantasy of "not doing anything but rehearsing or writing music until noon." It's laughable. But it's a really nice thought, people.

I am stuck in this little world of self-employed-work-from-home-parent. That is vastly different from work-from-home-parent or stay-at-home-parent or work-away-from-home-parent. 

Anyway ... trying to find a little room for self-care in the midst of winter illnesses and holiday stress and thousands of dollars in unexpected home repairs has me, um, a little stressed out. Anyone out there have it all figured out? Can you just print me a little PDF, so I can tick off the items nicely? Thanks. I'm working on my own, but I'm sure you have much better graphic design skills.

Maybe I just need a little more coffee.

Reminder: Family Music Jam this week is WEDNESDAY 12/16. 10:30am. Drop-in. Come sing holiday tunes with me:) $10/family at Mama's Hip. www.mamas-hip.com 

Playing music with your kiddo is the best. Also, I know
this is a banjo, not a uke, but the Wee Boy is asleep with
a cold right now, so I shan't bother him for a photo shoot.
People ask me ALL the time if I will take their 5-year-old on as a piano student, and I always suggest waiting until the child is 7. I'll write another blog about all the reasons why, but today I wanted to throw out the alternative that I usually suggest: buy a ukulele.

Once you are able to communicate with your kiddo that perhaps s/he shouldn't throw it across the room, then you are fine to get an actual, real, will-even-stay-in-tune ukulele. Then grab a book or get on the YouTube or sign up for a Parent/Child Intro-to-Uke class to get them started. Louisville friends, Guitar Emporium has many ukuleles in the $40-55 range that would be perfect. I stopped by this week to check out their selection and was pleasantly surprised with the choices in stock.

On that note, Louisville parents, I'm considering offering a Parent/Child intro-to-ukulele class specifically for those families who might be welcoming a uke into their families this holiday season.

I'm always hesitant to offer new classes, but several parents have asked me about teaching such a class. So maybe get in touch if this is something you'd be interested in? I'm looking at doing a 4-week class in January either on Monday or Thursdays, early-afternoons, location TBA, but in the Highlands/40205 area for sure (I'm car-free, remember?) Probably a 6-children limit. 45-minute class. Aimed at ages 4ish-5ish. One day I'll work out a group piano class for preschoolers, which I find more effective and a better use of your money than private lessons at that age, but for now: ukuleles for wee fingers, it is.
It's that time of year! I didn't make it home from my gig with The Birdies until after sundown, but we didn't let that stop us from eating all of Grandma's homemade latkes. Here's Grandma (my mom is now known as Grandma instead of Mom because the circle of life and all) passing down a bit o' culture to her grandson:
   


















Speaking of The Birdies, we played two SOLD OUT shows this weekend at Indiana University SE, singing with a 15+ piece band and spreading holiday cheer. Here's a much more calm version of us on the radio singing a version of Silver Bells with the addition of our Hanukkah verse at the end:


And OF COURSE .. here are my two classic Hanukkah tunes. Available as free downloads here:


Or just watch the silly videos on the ol' YouTube:






Happy Hanukkah, y'all! It's been quite a year.

Last night I cooked a dinner, and two of the dishes had only one ingredient. It was completely amazing. Don't get me wrong, I like Thanksgiving food. I like it a lot. It's comfort food (i.e. the Kids' menu in adult portions), and it tastes delicious. We ate Thanksgiving food or road trip food or takeout-because-we-didn't-want-to-mess-up-our-kitchen-for-the-Airbnbers food for at least week. Macaroni and Cheese is amazing, but it is not a vegetable. Last night we had curried quinoa, roasted butternut squash, and Brussels sprouts. I could feel every cell in my body thanking me with each bite.

Anyone else still hungover from Thanksgiving? We had a fun holiday. We traveled to Arkansas and spent 5 days with David's family in a condo. My introvert self was a little freaked out by the close quarters, but the company was good. The Wee Boy had an absolutely blast playing non-stop with his cousins, yelling to wake everyone up as early as possible, and eating sugar all week. He also pet an alligator, which you've already seen if you follow me on Instagram:


We also learned that he inherited our weak stomachs for car rides. The boy is an amazing traveler on planes and trains, but take this boy on a car trip and yikes! I lifted my screen-time rules and let him watch the iPad about 30 minutes into our journey, and he puked EVERYWHERE shortly thereafter. I ended up reading The Wonderful Wizard of Oz aloud to him to kill time, which was, honestly, mostly delightful. He really liked it, particularly the Winged Monkeys and "the soldier with the green whiskers."

I got a little accidental down time yesterday, when the horrendous driving weather forced our hand. We stopped for the evening in Nashville, exhausted and ready for bed. After a swim in the hotel pool and a little alone time, I felt reinvigorated and wanted to show the Wee Boy a honky tonk. I had never even thought about it, but it turns out that most of the honky tonks on Lower Broadway are all ages before 6pm. We wandered to the Second Fiddle, danced, clapped, tipped, and eventually settled in at Robert's Western World for some comfort food and some comfort music. The Wee Boy, of course, is no stranger to live music, but he was still mesmerized. We left just before it turned 21+ and pretty much went straight to bed.

I'm now plotting the next time we can get down to Nashville for an entire day of honky-tonkin' with the Wee Boy. I don't know why I had never thought of that before.

Speaking of country music, it's time again to start forcing you to listen to my Hanukkah music. Here's a free download or listen to "Blue Dreidel No. 9" from a Christmas Compilation (I know, I know, ironic?):



Also: Louisville parents: Bring your kiddo to Mama's Hip on Wednesday morning for Family Music Jam! 10:30am, drop-in, lots of fun. $10/family. Pretty please?? We have so much fun there.
Has anyone figured out how to re-learn how to speak to adults after having a child? I suppose it depends what your work is. My work is mostly teaching kids and singing my songs, so I haven't had much practice in real conversation. Are there classes out there? I feel like I need social skills.

I was talking to one of the moms in my music class this morning about how so often we say things that are horribly offensive to other moms without even knowing it. For example, I upset a friend a few months ago because I was speaking passionately about how the maternity care system is so much better in other countries than it is here. (This is a huge passion of mine, and I get worked up. I never mean it personally, of course.)
Poor kiddo was sick all last week.
At least we cuddled a lot.

So many times, other moms have upset me by their casual comments about how mean it is to have just one child. Perhaps they don't phrase it like that, but they'll say something like, "Oh, the greatest gift I ever gave Brunhilda was her sibling." Or, "I just don't want him to be an only child because I don't want him to miss out or be spoiled." They surely don't realize how insulting that is, or I don't think they would say it at all. It is very frustrating to hear, speaking as an only child who absolutely loved and benefited from being the only one.

Anyway, specifics don't matter -- we all say dumb things. At least, parents of young children say dumb things, it seems. I don't quite know how to re-enter society. I feel like I should be reading some anthropology book aimed at foreign visitors to America because I am really missing the basics here.

Anyone feel similarly?
My 3-year-old has over 60 pairs of pants (re: trousers for my UK readers). These are all long pants, size 3T. I have not bought him a single pair, and for that I am forever grateful. Seriously, the hand-me-downs have been amazing, especially for people with massive graduate school debts and a hatred for shopping. But I have got to pair down and donate what's not needed ... because -- even though I hate laundry, and 60 pairs of pants could probably get us through the winter without a washing -- that many pants don't actually fit in his chest of drawers. Also, laundry isn't the worst household chore. (That would be: dishes.)

But, legitimate question, how many pairs of trousers does a 3-year-old boy need? Anyone have a system? Please comment and help! He's been potty-trained for over a year, so we don't need extra-just-in-case-pants. Help me out here, experts!

Confessions:


  • I have been going to bed before 9pm all week. Tonight I have an early gig, and I'm still hoping to be in bed by 9. 
  • My kid wasn't affected in the least by the time change. I think that's what comes of him being a generally not-great sleeper. He doesn't ever care what time it is. I read updates of people whose kids are "begging to go to bed," and I am confused. A parenting success out of a failure!
  • I want to cook a holiday feast. I think maybe I now like the holidays. I'm not sure what that's about. Speaking of...
  • I saw someone walking down the street with a Starbucks red cup earlier this week, and now I wish I lived within walking distance of a Starbucks. I know. I really know. But I still want one.
  • I got into Yerdle for a few weeks, accumulated some Yerdle dollars to buy stuff (which I haven't used yet because I don't actually like to buy things), and now I think I have stopped Yerdling. It's a time-suck, and it involves trips to a UPS store, and I'm starting to think it's a part-time job. I have enough trouble balancing my 6 part-time jobs as it is.
  • We had a rental car for a month because of David's work. It was very weird, and I don't think I enjoyed it. More on that in another blog.
  • I really like to browse Pinterest. It is so mindless and distracting.
  • My feet have grown, but I do not want to part with my amazing lifetime cowboy boot collection. I am letting go, slowly, but it makes me sad.
  • I found a bunch of notes and letters and journals from high school in the basement, and I threw them all away after re-reading only two. Because, really, who needs to be brought back to high school, if even for an afternoon?
  • I am working on a new record! The songs are old (to me) at this point because I have not created anything new in ages because I had a baby who was then a toddler who was then a preschooler and I don't know how to balance art and motherhood. But I am excited to finish this record and tour it and make room in my head to create something new. (Can I play a house concert for you next summer/fall, please? Seriously. It'll be fun. Email me. Let's work this out.)
  • I still have culture shock, though I have been back in Kentucky THREE YEARS today. Even though I love Louisville and my family and friends, I really wish I could convince them that we should all move to Scotland. Remember, remember.

    Here is a new photo, by Joseph Mays of Alien Twilight Photography. I had some new pictures taken last week, before I decided to eat all of the holiday cookies, and I'm so glad I did. Joe is a huge talent, and I'm amazed by all of the images he sent. Here's one of my favorites:

It's The Birdies! Here's a quick montage of some songs we sang at the Outskirts Festival last month. We've got our electric band here. I think we are bringing a toned-down version (acoustic guitar, Dennis?) for our Tuesday, December 8, appearance at the Library. Check back for details on that, but I'm pretty sure it's a free and public and all ages show and starts at, like, 5 or 5:30pm. We are adding some holiday tunes to the repertoire. I wonder if it's possible to 1940s-a-fy "Mazel Tonk" because, let me tell you, there sure aren't many vintage Hanukkah songs floating around out there.

Also, it would be super sweet if you could "like" The Birdies' Facebook page because, oddly enough, the number of "likes" actually matters to venues and promoters and immigration workers who grant work visas for international tours.

Hope everyone had a great Halloween. The Wee Boy was a Wizard for his preschool parade, but then he switched to his dragon costume for trick-or-treating. I kind of wish he would wear a costume every day of the week because isn't that what every 3-year-old should do?


Friday!! You get a cute kid-in-a-costume photo today because I can't follow my own time-management advice enough to actually blog something interesting. But don't we all prefer cute kid pictures to deep thoughts or whinges about not being in Paris anyway?

I've been putting together a video montage of The Birdies tunes, but it's not ready yet. We have a few upcoming public gigs in December, plus a few private holiday parties that you cannot come to. Wouldn't you just love to book an Andrews Sisters-type group to come sing a few old tunes and, you know, dress up all vintage and make an appearance at your event? Get in touch!
When David and I were both self-employed a few years ago, I offered him all kinds of time management advice. It was pretty good stuff, I thought, but I'm having quite a time adhering to my own advice. In the interest of completely procrastinating on actually doing work today, I'm going to make a new list of all the tips that I know help. Voila!

1. Make a list on Sunday night of what you need to accomplish that week. But don't do it right before bed because that can just stress you out. Just know that it's on the list, so it will get done. Then go about enjoying your weekend.

1a. List your to-dos by category. 

My business and daily life get mixed up, so when I remember I have to pay some bills, I keep a separate "home" list. I also keep an "email/communication" subcategory, along with Bookkeeping, Writing, Home, The Wee Boy, etc.


2. Slim that list down on Monday morning of what you absolutely need to accomplish that day. 

It's too easy to flip out looking at a massive To Do list. There's actually a pre-printed planner, called the Planner Pad, if you're the ink-to-paper type, that organizes your week like this. I have trouble keeping up with both paper and Google calendar, but they have an e-version as well.

3. Identify tasks that can wait until other days and assign them throughout the week.

4. Set a timer for tedious tasks, and stick to it. 

If you know you're only going to be spending 15 minutes on something, you'll know it won't be so bad. Also, it helps you stay focused -- no straying from the task until the timer sounds.

5. Only check email a few times a day. 

This saves time and stops you from doing that thing where you read the email, think 'I'll respond to that in just a bit because I'm doing something else now,' and then you completely forget about that old email because it's no longer bold-faced in your inbox.

6. Leave the house.

If your house is in a state of disarray, you aren't going to get as much accomplished as you could. It's too easy to say "Oh, but laundry, but organization, but dishes, but etc etc etc." I'm sure it would be lovely to hire a professional organizer to come in and makeover your home so you feel all zen and able to work at your dining room table (or even home office if you are so lucky!), but for now: go to the coffee shop. While you are there, remember to set a timer to make the most of your time. 

7. Work when you are most productive. 

This one is super-hard when you have kids, or at least it has been for me. My childcare starts at 9am, but I am not a morning person. I am most productive and creative beginning at around 2p, basically just before I have to pick up the Wee Boy. If you don't have such restrictions, enjoy the freedom and make the most of it. You can set your own hours, so set them to when you can be efficient. 

8. Schedule your social media posts. 

You can use "schedule" feature on blogs, Twitter, Facebook, etc. so you can post at optimum hours without being tethered to your laptop or phone at those exact moments. This ties in well with #7 -- if you write best at midnight, then write then. But schedule your post for a more prominent social media time. 

9. Give yourself a break.

This one is hard for me. I am the meanest boss around. But every employee needs a break. Take a walk around the block, do a 20 minute yoga video, sit down for a cuppa, whatever will re-energize you. Just again: Set a timer, so it doesn't turn into a Netflix marathon.

10. Learn your limits. 

Don't be too hard on yourself. Self-employed workers are doing the work of at least five (and probably more) employees. Understand that you are taking on a lot, and be good to yourself. 

11. Remember that your job is important.

I struggle with this one, especially because so many of my friends just do not understand self-employment. Most either think I am a stay-at-home-mom or that I am available to have lunch or coffee on a moment's notice if my kiddo is in childcare. I shouldn't care what they think, but it's rough when the same friend calls every day right during the time my clients start arriving (and when they have known your schedule for 10+ years!). It's easy to be dismissive of your own career, but do your best to remember that your job is important.


Now, to follow my own advice! Singing that song from Alice in Wonderland ... "I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it." Sigh. 
What are your time management tips?? I'd love to hear them.
In my Europe daydreams, I keep going back to our favorite student-budget meal. We did not live the life of luxury while we were there, but this meal still feels like the be-all-end-all of what-would-you-eat-if-you-had-a-million-dollars to me. It's probably because real (unpasteurized) camembert is both legal and incredibly inexpensive over there. And because we were so close to France, the cheap red wine is a quarter of the cost of American liquor stores.

A baguette,
a wheel of camembert,
broccoli florets and garlic cloves,
all roasted for 10 minutes
with
a bottle of red.

£5 for all.

So good. Considering how pricy cheese is here, this is not exactly student-friendly in Kentucky. But you know I'm in a daydreamy mood.

I may try to replicate that tonight, minus the unpasteurized cheese, of course.

Why can I not find a photo of this most delicious meal ever??? What, was I too busy enjoying my time and company and not stopping to Instagram it?! Fool. I'll hunt through my old iPhoto when I get home and update this if I find something. Check back? Instead, here is a picture of something dreamy: chocolatissimo from a cobblestoned sidewalk cafe. Because dreams do come true.


In the mean time, how about a wistful rainy-day-song? It's a little more serious than I like to share, but I do so love the combination of me on piano and Peter Searcy on cello. Free download if you like. Or it's on Spotify, if that's your thing.


And: what I've been reading: this week, it's Elvis Costello's memoir, which I am enjoying so very very much. I've actually been listening to the audiobook while walking from here to there, which is so very pleasant because I've spoken to him in person so many times, which is surreal still. Anyway, I recommend it. He is one of the smartest people I've ever met -- both in book knowledge and street smarts. His writing supports this.
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ABOUT ME

Brigid Kaelin is a Kentucky musician, speaker, and writer. Her new album is streaming everywhere, and she’s publishing her first memoir in 2023.

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