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Photo of my wedding for absolutely no reason other than I was looking at old photos.

I'm worried. That's nothing new; I'm always worried. I'm also angry and bitter and angry for others and annoyed by others. It feels like so many artists have struggled for so long, and in the slightly-more-egalitarian arts-world that was brought to us by the internet, there was room for non-wealthy people to have some level of success or at least have a small platform or middle class artist life.

Coronavirus is knocking those climbers right back down to where we started, which is to say that now, only the independently wealthy can afford to be artists. That means we are going to hear art and stories from mainly white men with patrons. Lesser known artists -- and those of us who are primary caregivers for small children -- are falling to the wayside.

There is some hope out there that some of those white men with platforms will help amplify the voices of others rather than rolling in the spotlight themselves, but it's a crapshoot. I see more artists than ever actually trying to use their powers for good, but I am also feeling left out of the fold because: I am a mother. (And you wonder why I kept my second pregnancy secret!)

I've found that mothers have had their voices particularly squashed, especially in weird pandemic times that are forcing families to revert to single-income households. Which family member quits their jobs when childcare is unavailable? The lower-earners: primarily women.

Anyway, this is a blog, not a well-reasoned essay. It's just the thoughts that keep me up at night.

I was excited for a while, as women and other artists who have experienced oppression are more likely to share the spotlight and amplify voices of Black artists, disabled artists, poor artists, women artist, LGBTQ artists, and more. It felt as if lockdown had leveled the playing field... we all had to perform from our homes.

But then we started to see quickly that homes are not all equal. Some artists have $10k microphones. Some have home studios. Hell, some have homes.  

I'd like to donate a USB microphone to an artist out there who needs one. I can't level the playing field on my own, especially when I'm typing one-handed from an 11-year-old laptop while wearing a shoulder sling, but I can offer a small piece of gear that would make it easier for an artist with fewer advantages to tell their story and share their art.

Tag an artist who might be in need? Or maybe better to privately send me a message with names of folks in need? I'd like to raise the funds to help others tell their stories.

We need to hear all kind of art these days; not just white men.

I'm in a sling for a while, but I'm anxious to get back in front of the camera and connect. When's good tonight? I might pop online and see if I can do a live-stream with my left hand and loud voice. Maybe my four-year-old can strum while i play chord changes of the guitar...

Greetings from bed! I sat in the backyard for half an hour and chatted with a friend yesterday, and apparently that was too much for my little weak body. It sent me straight back to bed and now I'm forcing bedrest so my shoulder and arm muscles will heal on up.

Prior to surgery, I hyper-focused and recorded a TON of content. not knowing when i'd be able to play an instrument again. I still don't know when I'll have access to my right hand, but I do know I've got a lot of fun content to share.

My current problem is that I WANT TO SHARE EVERYTHING! It's like when you buy a gift for some reason, but there's no possible way to wait until Christmas or birthday to give it to them so you must bequeath it to them as a "Second Tuesday" gift or whatever. I want to just video dump SO MUCH CONTENT to my Patreon page.

Alas, I need to chillax. To save up and to post a regular intervals, so as to hide my manic depression a little better :)

In the mean time, here's a video I recorded EXCLUSIVELY for patrons, but have now released into the wild. So you can watch it, whether you have joined my site or not. Grab that old saw from your garage and give this a whirl. I'm stuck in bed, so I'm available to answer your musical saw questions.




Become a Patron! For as little as $1/month ($12/year!), you can be part of an awesome TEAM that keeps Brigid's writing, songwriting, video-making, and whisky-sharing, and joy-spreading career going. Give Brigid a little external validation and join Patreon TODAY. You've been putting it off too long :) 

Hello from one-handed typing and 4 am! I'm almost 24 hours post surgery.  (Here are my surgery details, if you missed that post.) Spent yesterday on twitter and pain meds, probably not a great combination. I'm up early because my shoulder hurts and i need to ice it and also I need to browse rural land in Scotland because that is a totally reasonable thing to do and think of the novels i could write there and the music videos i could shoot there. Or who wants to buy this castle with me?

Today I'm thinking about how it is far too easy to buy random stuff.

Between credit cards and internets, combined with pain pills ... what pain presents (or even just pandemic presents) have you purchased???

• My dad bought a 75" television 9 days before he died. He was going blind and wanted to watch golf.
  
• My neighbor sponsored a child in Africa while taking ambien. She had no memory of doing it, but gelt too guilty to cancel, thus budgeted for it for years.
  
• I am trying to not buy a Nespresso machine, even though i'm trying to add a regular amount of caffeine in order to regulate my ADHD. I hate those little pods, but i loooooooove the taste. They make a stainless steel reusable pod, but then how do i get the actual Nespresso coffee? Because that is what tastes like Europe and all the places  can only dream about going for a while.
  
• I did just buy an electric toothbrush bc brushing properly hurts my good arm, and I'm not ready for a double-sling.

Hello! If you're a patron, then you can read some personal news here  https://www.patreon.com/posts/blog-some-38347878 and thank you so much for directly supporting me.

Photo purely because Joe Mays takes nice pics, and y'all should know who he is.

I've blogged for 15 years for free, and I'll still make most of my blogs public. But not this one. In an attempt to thank y'all who've joined my Patreon and to make it worth your hard-earned-dollar, I'm putting some exclusive blogs over there. Love y'all.

Also, just join my Patreon if you wanna know what's up with me. (No, I'm not pregnant, though that would be a really good marketing ploy to get you to join my Patreon. But, come on, if you've been thinking Oh I should do that, then maybe just go ahead now pretty please. You can make up a fake name if you don't want me to know who you are.)

Brainsplosion.

My neighbor, who has three perfect children, has "summer rules." I was about to text her to ask for a copy of these rules, and then I thought I'd crowdsource instead. My neuro-atypical self doesn't do well with extreme structure, and I need a lot of options before I find what works for my family. The whole happy-mom-happy-kids thing rings loudly in my head, and, while my kids' happiness is for sure my life goal, I find that if I don't have the ability to WRITE/ART/MUSIC/ALONE TIME even just a LITTLE bit, then I'm a terrible parent.

So.

I gave my kids a couple of weeks of screen time fun, just to enjoy summer.

But I'd like to employ SOME sort of structure. It can't be rigid, or I won't be able to follow it. I was a pretty bossy child, and even my mother always said told me I raised myself. Self-employment was inevitable for me, and it works well. Kids have thrown a wrench in things, and I'd like to see what other people are doing.

• Do you have a checklist? 
• Do you have a magnetic chore chart?
• Do you sign up for one virtual summer camp and then let your kids have free reign the rest of the day?
• Do you have "must complete X,Y, Z" and then you get "____ minutes of screen time"?

Be specific, friends. I am a very literal person, and I'd love to see what y'all actually do. Feel free to DM or email if you don't want public posts.

Also, Y'ALL, I've started blogging more over at my Patreon: just for Patrons. Consider $1 a month to help an artist who is a good person and gets loads of views and Spotify plays but only makes $189 a year from digital streaming? I give exclusive content and early access and giggles, and it's worth it! You can join anonymously if you're, like, an ex-girlfriend of my husband's who likes to keep tabs and has found yourself actually enjoying my content but you don't want me to know that! Or at least watch this quick video??

About a year before my dad died, he gave me his camera. He was a really good photographer throughout his life, but a tumor was obstructing his photography eye. I've avoided looking at his photos, as I've been trying to focus on the bigger things that need attending to (his clothes, Mom's clothes, bowling trophies, random cables, other crap accumulated that takes up more room than a small SD card). This morning I took at look at the drive though, and I found a few beautiful photos I wanted to share. No editing, not even the magic "enhance" button: just some pics that brought me a little bit of joy.

The first shot is me singing at my own wedding. I swore I wouldn't work that day, but I needed a break from talking to everyone. Since I couldn't hide in the bathroom, I hid behind a microphone. The second photo is of sweet David watching me on stage.

Thank you, Daddy, for capturing those moments. I was afraid to look at your camera, but there are some wonderful moments on here.

What a week of excitement, anger, brutality, coordination, peace, frustration, and just about any combination of feelings and action you can juxtapose. Louisville is a wild place to be right now, though from my little corner of the city, I suppose I'm at the same vantage point as anyone else in the world: watching from my phone.

It's an interesting time to be an artist. I want to write my feelings out, but I also don't think my feelings are particularly important right now. Instead I want to amplify the stories and the songs of black artists, who have much more relevant things to say. I'm also such low-level artist, who doesn't have the same reach as a real celebrity, that it feels weird to even be writing about it.

This morning I'm sitting in my house thinking about ... well, thinking about everything... and wondering what I could be doing from my own 'career.' Almost too many options.

From a more specific angle, a musical colleague sent me some recorded music that I'm trying to write lyrics to. The music is peppy, fun, and ... was composed before the protests began. I've never written lyrics to someone else's music before (i always write my own music), so it's already a strange-but-cool position for me to be in. I'm enjoying the prompt, but all that's on my mind is protest songs and focused rage and desire to give my platform to OTHER people.

When I see a white musician post a song about current events, I want to beg them to let black artists have this moment instead.

So I don't know that it's appropriate to write a protest song or song about current events from my perspective. And I don't want to do what I have done in the past: which is to write a song from the POV of someone else, in an attempt to understand their feelings. This isn't the moment to speak for other people: this is the moment to FINALLY let The Other SPEAK. SHOUT. ANYTHING.

Anyway, I've written some protest-y lyrics to this peppy country track, but I'm thinking of going back, rewriting it, making it more of an ABBA-kind-of-track about puppies or rainbows instead.

In related news, if you're a person who likes to download actual audio files instead of just streaming, then go support some black musicians on BandCamp. Today, ending at midnight, Bandcamp is waiving their fees, so 100% of the money goes to artists. It's a way to directly support musicians who need to be amplified. Here's a list of black musicians with links to their bandcamps!

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