Monday, March 6, 2017

Confessions and giving up and me being crazy and stuff.

I'm giving up on 40Days to a Personal Revolution. I clearly am much better at accountability when I'm doing things at my own pace. Does that even make sense?

The funny thing is that I was already doing daily yoga and eating mostly vegan and gluten-free before the program. So when it started and the program was only restricting things mildly or more about 'paying attention' to your diet, I figured I'd take that opportunity to have some Reese's Eggs because they weren't off-the-program until week three or four or whatever (it made sense in my head). So then I sabotaged myself and started eating bagels with Kerry Gold and having a glass of wine (I'd done Dry January easily and had only had a slightly damp February), and then I started getting headaches and pulled a muscle around an old hip/back injury because, duh, when you don't eat well, you don't feel well. Now I just give up.

I do better when I set my own rules. My rules were pretty effective prior to this program.

Also, I actually journaled more before the program gave me diary prompts.

Pre-gig. My favorite kilt.
My chaotic living room.
Clearly, I'm one big mess, but I suppose that's to be expected.

Actually, maybe the program has been successful after all. All I'd really wanted was to start being able to allow myself ease. I've got a lot going on now. I need to take care of myself. And forgiving myself my freakouts and my imperfections is coming more easily.

You know what makes me feel best?

My work.

It turns out that writing music and playing music is the best therapy for me. Who knew? Well, apparently my mom did. She knows everything. I just don't like to admit that.

In exciting musical news, Steve finally got that stand-up bass he's been on about for a year now. Yessssss!

Last weekend's Monkey Wrench show was good fun. Also, I don't have any more shows on the books (except for a couple of standing private Derby events), which is completely absurd. Where are the venues, and where are the booking agents, and why can't I just play house concerts for the rest of my life?


1 comment:

  1. carol a lady of the lakeMarch 6, 2017 at 3:07 PM

    "Who knew? Well, apparently my mom did. She knows everything." Ah Brigid....sweet music to a mother's ear. I will relish it for all us mom's who would love to hear these words from their own offspring's mouth.