Wednesday, January 28, 2015

A secret I have been withholding.

I have a confession to make. You know that one time when Madonna moved to London and developed this bizarro quasi-British accent? I have done something similarly annoying (except far fewer people will care about my quirk).

I now eat Continental-style. Worse than that: I eat left-handed Continental. I kid you not.

I don't even remember when it happened. Occasionally when I was abroad and with Duchal company (okay, I've never dined with a Duke, but I wanted to use the word "duchal" and really, just sub it for "posh," I suppose) and didn't want to call attention to my barbaric American ways, I would attempt this style of holding the knife and fork. Oddly, the right-handed way never felt comfortable. But I have apparently grown very comfortable with my knife in my left hand, and I didn't notice until recently that I've been eating this way for some time now, without giving it a second thought. 

If you don't know what this style of knife-and-fork-holding looks like, please refer to any dining scene in Downton Abbey, or to this video:

Anyway, I know I am already the irksome woman who talks about Scotland far too much, but now I am full-blown eats-like-an-outsider. This morning I tried going back to American dining while eating my crepe (oh! how annoying I am! a crepe?!?!), but it felt sloppy and awkward. I am a lost cause. An unAmerican fool. Forgive me!

*I'm not actually left-handed, but my mother is. I do most things with my right hand, but am ambidextrous in many ways (and many times prefer my left to my right -- either because of ambidexterity or because I copied my sinister mother).

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