Monday, September 29, 2014

Ups and Downs and today is an Up.

I haven't talked about the PPD in a long time. I'm not at all out of the trenches, but I'm at least to the point now where I can force myself to do stuff I know will be good for me. Sort of. I still don't go to yoga class or anything (I know I know I know), but over the last couple of weeks, I've been saying yes to things.

I used to do that all the time. If anyone had a plus-one anywhere, I was there. It always led to something interesting, even if the thing itself was bleagh. 

Yesterday, someone invited me to the Music panel as part of the Idea Festival MUSIC, and I said yes. My husband wrangled up a babysitter (he had to work yesterday), and I even managed to navigate the annoyingly-sparing public transportation in this town to make it to the Green Building. The point is that I WENT! I even mustered up the moxie to give someone a business card. I probably shouldn't have because it was a crappy old business card. But I did it nonetheless. I spoke in mostly complete sentences. I'm pretty sure I spoke far too much, and I told everyone that I was batshit crazy these days (may have been my exact words). The fabulous Alex Wright gave me a ride home in his swanky car, thereby eliminating another mental breakdown caused by TARC.
(Look at me all out in public and hanging with my ol' pal Dennie, who owns the Monkey Wrench!)

And then ... I, of course, got home and tried desperately to figure out how I was going to go to the Louisville Music Awards show at Headliners. I didn't want to go, to be honest. But going to the music panel reminded me that my work used to be going out to events. I have a public career, and if you don't go out in public, people forget about you. This blog has gotten me a slew of new fans -- but those folks are fans of my writing, not my songwriting. (Hello, dear reader, did you know that I'm actually a performer? That I have sung on A Prairie Home Companion? And once sang backup for Kid Rock? And played accordion with Elvis Costello several times? And my own songs have, like, been on the radio all over the world and stuff? I swear it's true!) 

Anyway, my fabulous neighbor offered to babysit and put the Wee Boy to bed, so I took an Uber to Headliners and pretended I was 29 and kid-free! Well, not really, but I did remember for a few moments what it was like to go out and see friends, particularly musical friends, and enjoy the company of lots of adults.

I was terrified and nervous and really anxious about going, but I reminded myself that I would be glad I went. And I am glad I went. So glad. Thanks to all of you who convinced me to go (you know who you are) and for putting up with my manic ways.

I am very much looking foward to my next uting. What's going on this Friday? I feel the need to be 29 again.

Also: Louisvillians, mark your calendars for THIS WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 1. Great Flood Brewing Company at 6:30pm. Great Flood is at the Douglass Loop next to Twig and Leaf. Steve Cooley, and Dan Canon, and I are playing there, and you should really come out, hang out, drink beer, and have a listen. 

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