Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Thoughts about running for mayor.

So Mayor Jerry* is not running for re-election, and someone asked me if I'd ever considered running for mayor. Duh, of course I have! I was a political science major, after all, and I do like to know exactly what is going on with everyone (hence why I like status updates on Facebook). I also absolutely love Louisville, and I'm pretty opinionated on things that would make Louisville better.

After some deep thought, however, I am not at all interested in RUNNING for mayor. I would just like to BE the mayor. See the difference?

I know it's not really a monarchy, but I'm somehow a distant cousin of Mayor Jerry's wife. I also happy to have a Jewish mother, which makes me Jewish, like Mayor Jerry. So I think I might have a rightful claim to the throne. I mean, it's at least as good a claim as Lady Jane Grey. Although she got beheaded, so maybe that's not a good precedent.

If I were the mayor, I would probably insist on wearing a tiara. I've already got a tiara (again, duh), so we wouldn't need to use public funds to purchase it. See how I'm already saving you money? I would also ride the bus to work everyday because I live along a major bus route. Also, do you think I could perhaps do most of my work from Highland Coffee rather than the downtown office? Maybe I'd have a roving office and Tweet daily about where my office is today.
Like today it's at coffeeshop in the Highlands, and tomorrow it's at the cool Hat shop on Main Street in Portland. I might even venture to the Smyrna Inn one afternoon, although I would definitely have to drive there rather than TARC it.

Improving TARC would be a major goal. And making a real bicycle lane on the major streets. And making it illegal to turn left onto Eastern Parkway from Bardstown Road (why is there only a green arrow going the other direction?) And getting every kid in this city free or subsidized music lessons. Why couldn't we hook up high school music students with underprivileged youth who don't have the resources to take private music lessons? I also think I would put accordion players or ukulele players or diggeree-doo players on every street corner downtown because seeing them would make my constituents happy. And really, isn't everyone's goal just to be a little happier?

Hmmmm ... on second thought, maybe I'll just continue trying to make everyone happy by roving around town with my accordion. Pretty much like I do already. Perhaps I should start wearing a tiara while I do it.

Remind me to tell you a hilarious story about playing accordion on the streets and Mayor Jerry.

* He's got a Wikipedia entry! Why don't I have a Wikipedia entry? Hmpf.

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