I cried a little bit this afternoon. It was frustration and self-pity, and I just needed to wallow in it for a few minutes. Not even that long, actually ... how unsatisfying!
I wasn't feeling well, nor am I still. I'm nauseated and have a sinus headache. For some reason, tonight the only thing I wanted in the whole world was the vegetarian matzoh ball soup I'd made last night for a non-traditional and impromptu Passover seder my family had last night at Friend-who-cooks-pancakes's house. I'd made a batch with twice-as-many matzoh balls because I knew there would be plenty of leftovers.
The only reason I got out of bed at all was because I could taste the soup on my tongue. I threw on clothes and made it to Friend-who-cooks-Pancakes's house with unkempt hair, untied shoes, and an unsettled tummy. And when I got there: the soup ... had been ... thrown away. Not even composted ... but thrown away!!
It is the only time in recent memory when I could feel, actually feel, the rage flooding my whole body. I was absolutely livid. And at the same time, I completely understood how ridiculous it was to be angry. It's just soup. Even though there was no way I could make more that day, and it was a perfectly fine batch of soup. But I was sooooooo mad.
I left, telling Friend-who-cooks-Pancakes I don't understand why I'm so upset, but I am just really really really really mad, and I know I'll get over it soon, and I am sorry I'm being a baby about it, but matzoh ball soup might be the only thing that might make me feel better. Then I went home and got back in bed and here I am telling you about it.
I signed on to post a three-word blog that said: "Blog canceled: headache." Then I felt the need to confess and publicly apologize to Friend-Who-Cooks-Pancakes that I'm sorry I was mad and thanks for letting my family invade your house and sorry we made you eat Gifelte fish and I'm sorry for that time last week when we moved your living room furniture into your backyard because we wanted to watch a movie on the outdoor projector but still have the comforts of a couch and end-tables.
I still really want matzoh ball soup though. Grrrrrrrr!
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